


Against All Odds

by kid05



Category: Glee, Pretty Little Liars
Genre: College, Crossover, F/F, Glee - Freeform, Pretty Little Liars - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:09:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 33,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26333164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kid05/pseuds/kid05
Summary: Santana is desperately trying to find a new road to take her to her dreams. That's when her path crosses with a sexy, tall brunette who's past is about to catch up to her.
Relationships: Emily Fields/Santana Lopez, Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

Life seemed pretty amazing. Brittany transferred from MIT to Wagner, where we went to school together. It was everything that I imagined it to be and more. We dormed together on campus. She had different classes from me but that was expected since our majors were different. I had a workout partner, and I also had my girlfriend back. But things seemed to good to be true, and it was. Our relationship starting going downhill when she started tutoring for extra credit. I went to surprise her one day, and I found her making out with another girl. And since then, I haven't talked to her. She hasn't bothered to call, to text. To make any attempt to contact me. I left that night; I took all my things and just started driving. About an hour later, I find myself pounding on Quinn's door at Yale. She opened her door, and with one look knew what was wrong. She brought me inside and made me a cup of hot chocolate. It was the middle of winter, and it was about 20 degrees outside. I explained what happened and she just sat there and listened and held me close.

"I don't know what I'm going to do Quinn. She's my world. I thought that her coming into my life again was our new start. I thought we'd make it this time. I did everything I could." She looked at me, sympathetically.

"That's the thing San. I won't work if you're the only one that's trying in the relationship. I think, you're better off without her." I started crying again. She held me by my shoulders. "I'm not saying this to make you cry. I'm just telling you, that maybe it's time for you to go your own way. It's time to let go of her." I knew that she was right. I wasn't going to deny it. I just shook my head and she hugged me.

"You'll be okay. You're the strongest, toughest bitch around. If anyone can make it, it's you." I smiled. "Actually, I got something for you. I don't know why I have it in the first place, I guess God put it in my hands for a reason." She reached into her backpack and pulled out a college brochure.

"Penn State?" I opened it up.

"Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying to go there but it's a option that you have now. It's a pretty good school." She grabbed the brochure out of my hands. "But for now, let's do something else. Watch a movie? I just got Bridesmaids." I got up from the chair and layed with Quinn on her bed.

"Yeah that's great. I'm down." The movie started but before I knew it, I was sleeping.

A couple of months later, I found myself driving to Pennsylvania. I was accepted into Penn State. I followed the signs to the conference room where orientation was going to be held. I walked up to the guy that was handing out something.

"Welcome! Here's your packet, you can take a seat anywhere in the room." I smiled at him and took a seat near the middle of the room. My phone vibrated. It was Quinn.

San! Today's your orientation right? And you get your dorm? I'm so excited for you! I'll be sure to visit you sometime :) Hopefully soon! I'm so proud of you, text me back when you get the chance. Love you :)

Quinn was the only person that has been helping me through the process of getting over Britt. Putting up with my crying, and venting about how Britt was posting a bunch of pictures of her and her new girlfriend on Facebook. I realized that the room was nearly full now, and the orientation was starting. It was so boring. I looked around the room when I made eye contact with another girl. She was beautiful. Black hair, beautiful eyes. I tried finding her when the orientation was over but the sea of people made it difficult. I figured I would run into her sooner or later. I headed to the cafeteria to get some lunch. I looked down at my watch and realized it was already 2:15. I headed over to the building where my dorm was.

"What's your name?" The girl at the desk asked.

"Santana Lopez." She looked through his papers.

"ID?" I pulled out my license and handed it to her. " Here you go. Room 318." I grabbed the key and walked up the stairs. I was so excited. I took a picture of myself holding my key and sent it to Quinn.

My dorm key! Thanks for everything Q. You've been such a great friend. I'll keep you updated with everything! Maybe we can skype later once I get everything settled? Love you!

This was it. The start of a new life. A life without Britt. I opened up my room door to find that my roommate was already getting settled. She turned around. It was her. The girl I saw during orientation. She was only wearing a sports bra and some beat up basketball shorts. Her body was amazing. And from the swimming posters on the wall, I assumed she was a swimmer.

"Sorry. Did you want this side of the room?" I smiled. This is gonna be a great year, I thought to myself.

"No it's alright. I don't really care what side of the room I get." I held out my hand. "I'm Santana Lopez."

"It's nice to meet you Santana. My names Emily Fields."


	2. Chapter 2

After spending a couple nights in the room and just having endless conversations with Emily, I felt like I had totally forgotten about Britt. We talked about everything. From what we did in school, hobbies. Even our exes. But what I didn't tell her was that my ex was a girl. I felt like I was starting to have feelings for her. But I knew I couldn't say anything to Emily, because she was my roommate. The school year had just begun and I didn't want to make things awkward. I talked to Quinn about her all the time.

"Yeah. Quinn she's a fuckin swimmer. Her body is solid. Like you have no idea. It's like Britt's but much more toned." I could feel myself blushing.

"Oh you're starting to like her! San has a crush. San has a crush." She continued singing. I just shook my head.

"Yeah so _maybe_ I have a crush on her. Big deal. I mean, it's not like I can tell her. I don't even know if she's gay Quinn. I'm not risking that, because I don't want to create a tension in the room. You know?"

"Well why don't you start with telling her that you like girls? Most people are understanding. And if she doesn't accept it then you know it wasn't meant to be and you won't have to worry about telling her about your little crush on her. Take a risk San. It's the only way you're gonna know. I have to go though, my class is about to start and I don't want to be late. I'll text you later okay?" She sounded like she was in a rush now.

" Okay. Have fun at class! I'll talk to you later." And the call ended.

Quinn was right though, I wouldn't know how Emily really felt if I didn't take that risk. She's a shy person, and it would not be in her character to come out first. She was at swim practice until 6pm. I looked at my watch. phone started ringing. I looked down at my screen. _Brittany S. Pierce._ Why would she be calling me? I pressed decline. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed my leftover Subway sandwich and threw it in the microwave and pressed start. The phone started ringing again, and I pressed decline once more. She called about ten times within 5 minutes. Finally I just texted her. I didn't feel like talking to her on the phone.

_What do you want Britt, I'm in class right now._

I waited for a reply, for maybe ten minutes. Nothing. The AC wasn't working in the entire building and I was sweating my ass off so I took my shirt off. The sound of the microwave finishing went off. My phone vibrated.

_Oh, I'm sorry San. I just… Missed hearing your voice is all. I hope Penn State is great. Text me when you get out of class. XO._

She missed hearing my voice? Please. As if I want to talk to her just so she can hear my voice. All she's gonna talk about it how her new girlfriend is this fantastic dancer from Julliard, and blah blah blah. She doesn't care about how I feel. It breaks my heart over and over again. I leaned over the sink. The tears started falling. I grabbed my phone to call Quinn, but I remembered that she was in class. I slumped to the ground, with my elbows on my knees; hands covering my eyes. _What the fuck?_ I thought to myself. I thought I was getting over this shit. I thought I was past the crying, past all these tears. The door started jingling. As it swung open I went to wipe the tears from my face but they continued falling.

"Yeah alright. No it's okay Aria just call me anytime alright. Yeah I'm sure." Her voice got quieter. "Hey I'll talk to you after okay. Okay. Yeah don't worry it'll be alright. Okay bye."

I heard her bag drop onto the ground. Emily sat next to me.

"San? Are you okay?" I felt her body close to mine now. I started getting butterflies. "You can talk to me you know. About anything. Is it about your ex? If he's giving you shit, then I can get someone to kick his ass. It's too easy."

I went to wipe my eyes one final time. It was the right time to tell her.

"Em, my ex. He's.. Not a he. It's a she." I looked down.

"It's okay. My ex? Isn't a he either." She made me look at her. "I have to admit, I was so afraid that you were straight. Because you are the sexiest woman I've ever laid eyes on. I mean, look at your body." I blushed and a smile broke through. "There's that smile. You'll be fine, sweetheart."

I hugged her and she sort of jumped. Like she didn't expect it. But she hugged me back. She smelt like chlorine, with a hint of her cologne that she liked to use.

"You wanna watch a movie with me? I just got Mama. And I don't want to watch it alone." She stood up and held out her hand.

"I'd like that." I grabbed her hand and got up. "But let me tell you. I don't get scared easily. Nothing really scares me at all."

"We'll just see about that." I followed her into her room. It was so neat and clean. Compared to mine at least.

"You can just sit on my bed. I'm gonna put the movie on." She came back to sit with me. Her bed was against the wall so we both leaned.

As the movie went on, she moved closer to me. I could tell she was one of those people who got scared easily because she jumped at every little thing that happened in the movie.

"Em do you want to turn the movie off?" I started giggling. She was basically hiding behind me at this point.

"No I don't want to. I'll watch the whole thing." I was hesitant at first, but I put my arm around her and she moved closer to me. I smiled.

"My backs starting to hurt from leaning." I got off of the wall a little bit to rub my back. But to my surprise she was rubbing it for me.

"Lay down. It'll feel better."

"Alright." I layed down on her bed and she layed next to me. "May I?" She moved my arm and moved closer. The smile on my face must have been a little too big because she layed on me before I could get a word out.

"I'll take that as a yes." I put my head on hers and got comfortable. I felt, relieved. At that moment, I was sure that it was where I was supposed to be at that exact moment. Maybe the break up with Britt was more for good than bad. I rubbed her back and she snuggled closer. The credits appeared on the screen.

"Wanna watch another movie?" She started getting up.

"Yeah. I'd like that a lot." I looked at my watch, it was already 8:50. Emily put on I Am Number Four. I loved that movie. She came back and layed down with me. I yawned, and got a little bit more comfortable. And before I knew it, we were sleeping.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next couple of weeks, Emily and I got to know each other much more. It was like our personalities were perfect for each other. I never felt such an immense attraction to someone before. I love watching her swim. It was one of the things I looked forward to during the day. I wouldn't go every afternoon; I didn't want Emily to think that I was obsessed with her. Which I was a little but I never let it show. With Emily, everything's different. I look at her and I can see us having a long, and loving relationship. With Britt, I couldn't see past the end of the month. I saw something with Emily. We could go places. And the funny thing is, we aren't even a couple. She's really old fashioned. We're just dating for now. If things work out for the better, then we can officially be together. But until then, I'll do everything I possible can to show her how much I want to be with her.

I went through the day with my normal Tuesday routine. Math in the morning, English right after lunch. I would use the time between then and Emily's swim practice to get some homework done. It was almost 5:30 now so I decided to leave the library and head over to the pool. I sat down in my usual spot and looked into the pool. I couldn't find Emily. I must be looking to hard, I thought to myself. But 6 o'clock came and went, and as the other swimmers were leaving the pool; she wasn't. I stopped one of her teammates that she introduced me to.

"Logan! Hey. Where's Emily at?" She looked confused.

"I was going to ask you the same thing. She didn't come to practice today. I thought maybe she was skipping because you guys were.. You know.. " She nudged my arm and winked at me. I laughed.

"No no. We haven't done anything like that. We're just dating, that's all." She smiled.

"Well I don't know really. Maybe she wasn't feeling too well and went back to your guys room?"

"Maybe. I'll let you know when I find out where she's at okay?" She nodded in agreement.

"Alright. Sounds good. Have a good evening Santana." She smiled and walked away.

I looked down at my phone to make sure that I didn't have any missed calls from her or any text messages that I may have read but didn't write back. But there was nothing. In fact, I hadn't gotten anything from her since like 9 this morning. I grabbed my keys and opened the door. From the moment it swung open, all I could smell was the stench of alcohol. There were about four empty bottles of vodka in the sink. I was worried. _I don't usually drink unless something terrible happens._ Her voice played in my mind. I got worried.

"Em?! Em where are you?" I walked in more. She came stumbling out of her room. Mascara running down her face. She looked terrible. I hurried over to her before she tripped over her backpack. "Babe… What's wrong?"

"It's Paige." She started crying again. I walked her back into her room and sat her on her bed. She was slurring her words, but I could still understand her. "She was murdered. I don't even know what happened! Hanna called me earlier. They found her in the pool. Face down, shot in the back of the head. I can't even begin to imagine who did this to her. I thought that after last summer, that this would all be over."

I didn't know what to say. Emily said that she had a horrible past, but that it was over. I hugged her.

"It'll be okay. I'm sure that they'll find the person responsible." She looked at me.

"No San. You don't get it. The police out there, they can't find a missing person even if we told them exactly where they were and gave them a map. It means _they_ are back."

"Who's they, Em?" She looked at me. The devastation and fear in her eyes was unbearable. I couldn't even imagine how she was feeling at that exact moment.

"You're gonna think I'm crazy. But after my friend Alison was murdered, I started getting texts from an anonymous person. It wasn't only me. It was Hanna, Aria and Spencer too. This person claimed to know secrets that only Alison knew. As time went on, she didn't only go after us. She went after the people who meant the most to us. That's why I'm afraid. I'm afraid they'll come after you too." I held her close.

"Nothing's going to happen to me. I promise." She shook her head.

"Don't underestimate them. I thought I was getting away from all of this. I got this text message while I was in Psychology this morning." She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and opened the message.

_Don't worry, Emily. Your new girlfriend won't feel a thing. You think I didn't know? Putting miles between us doesn't change anything one bit._

_Kisses, -A_


	4. Chapter 4

I know I'm Santana Lopez. Fearless, scared of nothing. But all of this is totally out of my league. Dealing with all of these threatening text messages? Emily went through all of this torture and horrible things for over a year. To me, she's the strongest woman I know. Both physically and mentally. This weekend, Emily had her first swim meet. It was just a pre season tournament. I had an important test coming up that Monday so she insisted that I stay home and study. Even though I didn't want to. I hated missing opportunities of seeing her in that swimsuit of hers. I could stare at her all day. I looked at the clock. 12:30. Her heat started in about 10 minutes. I grabbed my phone and texted her telling her good luck and that I hope she wins. _Ding._ My email tone went off. Unknown sender? I opened it, and immediately shut the message. _What the fuck was that._ My phone started ringing. The unexpected sound made me jump. _Quinn Fabray._ I pressed accept.

"Hey Quinn, whatsup?" I leaned back on my chair.

"I did what you asked, but I couldn't find anything online about the Rosewood killings or anything like that. Are you sure she was being serious and not just saying things because she was drunk?" I never questioned Emily's story one bit.

"No Q, she's telling the truth. You should've seen the look in her eyes. It was legit."

"Maybe it was just kept on the D.L. To not scare anyone." I could hear the worry in her voice. "I'll text you later though okay. I met someone. I'll tell you about her later okay? Love you San."

"Her? It's a her? Hello! Quinn!" But she had already hung up. A girl huh? It was bound to happen. I knew that I left an impression on her. I turned on my tv just for background noise. I was studying for about three hours so I decided to take a nap. I layed on my bed and fell fast asleep.

I woke up to a knocking on my room door.6:30. Holy shit. That was probably the longest nap I had ever taken. I got off of my bed and fixed my hair real quick. I opened the door and saw Emily standing there with a medal around her neck, and a huge smile on her face.

"I'm guessing you won, huh?" I smiled.

"Yeah! First place in the 200Mfreestyle. I also have one more thing." She grabbed my hand and brought me into our little living room. Three girls were sitting on the couch. "San, this is Hanna, Aria and Spencer. My friends from back home."

I suddenly got nervous. I didn't think that I was meeting her friends today. I never had to worry about meeting Britt's friends. All of her friends were already my friends too.

"It's nice to meet you all." I smiled.

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name. Emily talks about you all the time." I turned to her and she started blushing. It was so cute.

"Shut up Hanna." She was giving her that shut the fuck up look. I just stood there and laughed. "I didn't know that they were coming into town."

"Em, where's your laptop? I wanna show you those emails I was talking about." She grabbed my hand. "Whatever you're gonna show me, you can show San too. I don't want her to be left out."

"No Em it's alright. You can go and just fill me in later okay? I'm hungry anyway. Do you guys want anything?" I started walking towards the kitchen. But I heard whispering.

"But I don't want anything to happen to her. You don't understand you didn't lose anyone, Spencer. I'm not going to lose her too." I sighed. I walked up behind her and hugged her. They smiled and walked away.

"I'm going to be fine. I promise. Do your thing with your friends and I'll be out here when you're finished okay?" I whispered in her ear. She turned around and hugged me, then kissed my cheek.

"I won't be long." She turned around and walked into the room.

"You like her a lot don't you?" Hanna startled me. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's alright. I just thought you went into the room with them." She smiled. I walked back into the kitchen and grabbed ingredients to make my salad.

"I can tell you're falling in love with her. The vibes I get from the two of you, are crazy. Sort of what Caleb and I had before we broke up." I stopped cutting my cucumbers for my salad.

"Can I ask you something, Hanna?" She nodded. "Emily.. She's been through a lot huh?" I could tell that there was hesitation in her voice.

"Listen. That's why I wanted to talk to you one on one. I was the closest to Emily. She's got the biggest heart, but can be too trusting, and vulnerable. She's so fragile. Out of all of us? I feel that she's the one that went through the most. Her first love was Allison, and by now you know that she was murdered. Maya, who was her first real relationship, was murdered also. Then Em was kidnapped, and almost killed by Maya's stalker. Then she fell in love with Paige. Their relationship was deep. Paige was one of the best things that ever happened to her. She always looked out for not only Em, but all of us. And now, she's gone. I can only imagine how distraught she is right now. I could barely understand her when we were on the phone the other day. We were worried about her. That's why we came out this weekend. But it's obvious that she's well taken cared of." I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain and heartache that Emily had been through. "I know it's a lot to take in, but I know she wouldn't have went into details. But I felt that you needed to know. Just to, understand.. What she's been through. And why she's gonna act the way she does. Just, don't keep secrets from her okay? It's the worse possible thing that you can do at this moment. You're coming home with her for Paige's funeral right?"

"She mentioned it the other day. But I'm not too sure." She grabbed a apple.

"I think you should, you know. It'd be good if someone other than us was there for her. And you, being the girl she's practically falling in love with, would be perfect. Just come okay? It won't be weird or anything." With the end of the sentence, she took a bite the fruit. And with that, the door opened up and the three girls walked out of Emily's room.

"We have to get going, Han. It's late, and my mom doesn't know that we drove all the way out here." Aria came up to me and hugged me. "It was great meeting you Santana. We're all glad that Emily has you in her life."

"She's right. Em is the only one out of all of us that left Rosewood. And we're happy that she isn't alone." Spencer hugged me as well. They started walked towards the door.

"We'll see you two at Paige's funeral." Hanna followed to two girls out the door. They hugged Emily and left. She turned around and faced me. I walked over to her.

"I'm sorry about that, I hope Hanna wasn't giving you a hard time." She wrapped her arms around me. The butterflies were back.

"Don't worry she wasn't. We had a good conversation." I smiled. Hanna really opened my eyes. I never knew that someone could take so much pain, and still be this caring, passionate woman. It doesn't even seem like she went through anything that Hanna said. But why would she lie?

"I'm going to shower now, okay? We'll talk about everything they told me when I'm done okay?" She proceeded to take her shirt off and walk towards the bathroom. I went into the kitchen to grab my salad and sat down on the couch and turned on the tv. I felt my phone vibrate.

_Hey. Don't forget about what I told you. No secrets. See you at Paige's service._

_-Hanna_

She probably stole my number from Emily's phone. I replied back.

_Don't worry, no secrets. And see you there._

_-S_

I finished up my salad and started washing my dishes. The shower turned off, and I heard the door open. I walked out and saw her standing in her underwear and bra.

"Em I need to show you something." She nodded.

"Let me just get a shirt real quick." And she walked into my room. I smiled.

"Oh really now?" I followed her into the door and saw her grab my favorite Cheerios shirt.

"I figured you wouldn't mind." I shook my head. "Now what is it that you want to show me?"

"Well, I don't want to keep anything from you. I figured it'd be the best thing with everything that's happened." I opened my laptop and went into my email.

"You got a email from –A, didn't you."

"I got it while you were at your swim meet." The email opened and she rubbed my back.

"As I have taken away from Emily, I will take away from you. Kisses, A." She stopped and pointed to the picture attatched. "Is that.."

"Yeah." I sighed. "That's Brittany."


	5. Chapter 5

"Britt you need to call me back. This is fucking important do you hear me. Call me back." I pressed end and slammed my phone on the table. Everytime there was something important going on and I needed to get in touch with Brittany, she never answered her phone. I grabbed my phone off of the table and opened up a new text message.

Brittany S. Pierce if you do not get back to me I will kill you myself. Call me when you get this.

I leaned back on my chair and put my hands over my eyes. I hope nothing happened to her already. My phone vibrated. Brittany S. Pierce. Finally! I swiped and frantically put my phone up to my ear.

"Brittany! Jesus. I've been trying to get in touch with you all night. Where are you? Are you okay?" I could hear a lot of talking in the background.

"Of course San, I'm fine. Why? What's going on?"

"Where are you? Is someone making you say that you're fine and you're really not?" I started panicking a little now.

"Santana. Calm down. I'm not being held against my will or anything." She started laughing.

"It isn't funny Brittany. I'm being serious. Where are you? Why's there so many people talking in the background?"

"I'm at the airport. I'm going to Australia for 6 months. A foreign exchange program I got into. You didn't get the wall post I left you on Facebook? It was a last minute thing. One of the other girls couldn't go so they let me have her slot." I sighed in relief.

"No one tried to hurt you or anything right?" There was a pause.

"San, are you okay? I mean, we haven't been talking for about two weeks now. And all of a sudden you call me asking if I'm okay and if I got kidnapped. Or if someone is trying to hurt me? Is there something I should know about?"

"It's nothing okay? Honest. I am just making sure that you're alright. What time do you board?" I felt a little relieved that she wasn't even going to be in the country.

"I'm actually standing in line to board already. I should be on the plane and lifting off in about 15 minutes." She paused. Her voice got quieter.

"Please tell me, you haven't been drinking." I swung my chair around to face the window.

"Britt I haven't been drinking I swear. I promised you after-" I didn't see Emily standing by my door.

"Are you sure? Because all of this seems a little crazy and y-" I cut her off. My voice getting really stern now.

"I'm not drinking Britt. I promised you after I was in the hospital that I wouldn't. And I haven't." I stopped and took a breath. "Look. I'm just making sure you're alright. I hope you have a safe flight. Let me know that you got there safely alright."

"I will okay. Take care, San."

"You too. Bye." And I hung up. I turned around to see Emily standing there. She was giving me the look she always gave me when she was curious.

"I suppose you want to know what put me in the hospital."

"You don't have to tell me, San. I'm not going to make you dig up something that you don't want to talk about." She came over to me and sat on my lap. She traced my collar bone with her fingers.

"No it's alright, I'll tell you." I lifted her up as a stood up off of my chair. I walked over to the bed and sat her down, and I sat next to her. "After Brittany and I broke up, I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt like I was going crazy. I thought I had gotten myself together after leaving. Spending that time with Quinn at Yale is what made me think that I got a handle on myself. I went back to New York to visit Rachel and Kurt. But to my surprise, they opened their apartment door and there was Brittany and her new girlfriend sitting on the couch. I thought that I was ready to be in the same room as her. But I wasn't. Seeing her happy with someone else killed me. That's when I started drinking. It started with the a drink a night. But as the days went on, the drinks added up. Before I knew it, I found myself drinking at least two cases a night or more. I was staying with my aunt near Wagner at the time. She was gone on vacation so I was by myself."

"What happened? Did you hurt yourself while you were drunk?" She put her arm around me.

"No that wasn't it. It got to the point where drinking wasn't enough and I started taking my aunts pain killers while drinking. It brought me a whole new feeling. But one night it got out of hand. I don't even remembered what happened. Apparently I called Brittany asking if she was okay, and if her back was okay. I kept asking her if she was okay. She said that I didn't seem like myself so she came to see if I was alright. If Brittany didn't find me that night, then I don't know what would've happened. She called 911. The ambulance came and took me to the hospital. I got my stomach pumped, and was there for about a week recovering. I nearly overdosed."

"And that's when you promised her you wouldn't do anything like that anymore?" I nodded.

"Yes. She was there everyday with me in the hospital. That's why I didn't understand. I saw the Brittany that I fell in love with. We'd laugh and joke about things and she'd fall asleep next to me. But when I was discharged, everything went back to the way it was. After being all depressed and shit for another week I decided to pick my sorry ass off of the floor and do something that would make me happy. That's when I applied to Penn State. I told myself that I would get away from all the bullshit and stuff. And I wanted to meet new people. Which I have." I gently grabbed Emilys face with my hand. "Coming here was probably the greatest decision of my life. I've got great friends here, and I've got you."

She smiled. I moved closer to her.

"And leaving Rosewood was one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself as well. You're an absolutely fantastic women, San. I don't think I could explain it to you. The way I feel when I look into these eyes. It's amazing. And hey, I'm sorry about last week. I didn't know." She looked down.

"It's okay. You didn't know." I moved her hair out of her eyes and had her look up at me. Her forehead touched mine now.

"After spending all this time with you, I know I want nothing more than to have you as my girlfriend." She grabbed my neck and pulled me in close. As her lips touched mine I felt like I had just won a million dollars. When we released from the kiss, I looked at her.

"I would love to be your girlfriend." We kissed again. Her smile was so bright.

"C'mon. We have to get ready for the sorority party." She kissed me one last time and got up from my bed.

* * *

_A Week Ago_

_You guys up for a sorority party? It's next Saturday night around 7. Lemme know if you guys can make it. It'd be wonderful if you guys could come._

"You wanna go?" Emily looked at me. "Logan really wants us to go. C'mon. Please San. This is the party that the whole swim team is going to. Can you please come with me?"

"I don't want to be around alcohol, Em."

"It's not gonna be too bad I promise I'll be there the whole time." I shook my head.

"You don't understand. I can't be around alcohol okay." She looked mad now.

"Why huh? You just don't want to come with me. You never want to do anything with me anymore Santana. All we do is stay in the room and watch movies or play Xbox. We don't go out or hang out outside anymore. It's like you don't want to be seen with me." I looked at her in shock. I couldn't believe she even said that.

"For one, I've been sick and I don't feel like going out. So that isn't my fault. And two, me not going to this party has nothing to do with me not wanting to be seen with you." She turned around.

"It's because you don't want to be with me isn't it. I know it already. You don't have to hide it or lie." Rage was filling within me.

"Why are you assuming all this shit? Damnit Emily why can't you just be considerate of how I feel! I want to be with you. I want to show you off to the world. More than you know. I just don't want to be at this party okay? I can't.. I just can't be.." I broke down. "I can't be around alcohol okay. I just can't and I don't want to explain it I just can't do it okay I can't." The words were being forced out between the violent sobs coming out from my mouth. Emily pretty much ran over to me and started rubbing my back.

"Okay okay I'm sorry San. I'm sorry I won't make you go to this party okay? We can talk about it another time. Please just calm down.

Everything's going to be okay. I'm sorry I pushed you. I didn't mean to make you cry. Honest."

I turned to her and sniffled.

"You're so cute. I can't even stand it." She wiped my eyes and dried her hands on her shorts. "C'mon. Let's go get some ice cream."

* * *

_Present Day_

"Emily are you ready because I've been waiting on you for like an hour already." I got up from the couch. I walked over to the bathroom and peeked in the door. She looked absolutely amazing. She was wearing a red dress that stopped right above her knees. Her hair was done like our celebrity crush, Dianna Agron. She was also wearing the necklace that Paige had given her. It never bothered me, because I understood that Paige played a big part in her life.

"I'm ready, babe. Calm down." She opened the bathroom door and walked out. We rode in my car, because her car was in the shop getting a new transmission. We had to park down the block from the sorority house because there were so many cars. I could already smell the alcohol when we were on the street outside of the house. I squeezed Emily's hand.

"It'll be okay. I got you." She whispered. "I won't drink either, if that'll help you."

"No no. You can drink it's okay. I want you to enjoy yourself." I looked at her, well more like stared at her. She was just, so beautiful.

"Em! San!" Logan was running down the driveway with two drinks in her hand. "I'm so glad you guys could make it. Drink?" She pushed the drinks towards us.

"I don't want one, but thank you though." Emily took a drink and Logan kept the other one for herself. She turned back towards the house.

"Welcome to the Zeta Alpha Zeta Back to School party."


	6. Chapter 6

The party was just like the sorority parties you see in movies and on tv. There were a bunch of slutty girls, quiet girls, and girls making out with their boyfriends. We had been at the party for about an hour now. I stayed close to Emily, being sure that I wasn't tempted to get a drink. She kept me straight. I wasn't sure if I would get out of hand if i had a drink so I didn't take the chance. I had soda, and that was all.

"Santana why are you just drinking pop? You don't want a margarita or a kamikaze or something? I can go get you one if you'd like." I didn't understand why they kept offering me drinks. I shook my head politely.

"No thank you. I'm alright." I turned to Emily and she smiled at me. She stood up and motioned for me to follow her. We walked outside onto the porch area.

"I'm proud of you, San. You haven't had one drink." Her words were sort of slurred. She was always sort of a light weight. Even when she would drink at home when her cousin would come over I realized that her tolerance for alcohol was really low. Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, it just made it hard for her to keep up with all the drinks they kept giving to her.

"You're feeling pretty good huh?" I laughed.

"Oh yes. I am most certainly. Baby." She was definitely feeling it now. "I need to throw up. Oh shiiiii-" She leaned over the railing and her entire dinner came up. I put my cup down on the railing to hold her hair back.

"You're gonna be okay just let it out." I laughed. "You're such a lightweight Emily." She finally stopped throwing up and sat down on the porch. I sat next to her and rubbed her back.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to see me like that." Emily looked pretty embarrassed. She wiped her mouth with her hand.

"Hey don't worry about it. It happens to the best of us. I'm always going to be here for now on, Em. You're my girlfriend." She smiled. I grabbed my cup off of the railing and offered it to her.

"No thank you. I'm alright." I drank the rest of the cup and threw it on the side. "I wanna go soon. I'm gonna go back inside really quick to grab my phone and go to the restroom."

"We can go when you come back out okay? I'm gonna stay out here and catch some air. I don't really feel good." She looked at me with concern.

"Are you okay San? You aren't looking to good." I felt like shit.

"I'll be okay, just go and get your phone and stuff and I'll be here when you get back." She kissed me and walked back into the house. I started getting dizzy and I leaned my head against the wooden post of the porch. It was as if I had gotten extremely exhausted within the two minutes she was gone. I started closing my eyes but I would catch myself and wake up again. It felt like time was moving slower, and my eyelids were getting heavier. Before I knew it, I passed out.

* * *

I woke up and everything was dark. I didn't know where I was, or what was going on. My hands and feet were tied to a chair and I couldn't move. I screamed at the top of my lungs but I got no reply. I could hear the faint sound of music, so I knew that I wasn't too far from the party. I kept screaming, hoping that someone passing by would hear me.

"Shut up. Just shut the fuck up already. No ones gonna hear you. No one even knows your gone." It was a guys voice that I didn't recognize. Granted, I did just started at a new school in a entirely different state so I didn't really know anyone. But that's besides the point. I started squirming around hoping that I would loosen the ropes that were restraining me to the chair. _Whack._ I felt the pain shoot down from my head into my entire body.

"What the hell was that?" I could feel his face close to mine.

"How about you stop squirming." I heard a womens voice now. The sound of her heels was walking towards me. I held my breath. At that moment I honestly thought I was going to die. The only person that came to mind was Emily.

"Please don't hurt me. Please. Just let me go I won't tell anyone about this." I started crying. I heard a chair moving and the footsteps started getting closer and closer. I assumed that the women was now sitting in front of me.

"Don't worry, Santana. I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to talk. That's all."

"And you thought that kidnapping me was the best way to do that? I don't even know who you are. What do you want anyway." The bag was making my face hot and I started to sweat.

"What I want, is for you to leave Emily alone. I want you to leave Penn State. Better yet, leave the state entirely. Leave while you still have the chance to live." She stood up and started walking around.

"I'm not going anywhere. Not anytime soon, lady. You can count on that." Her footsteps stopped near me.

"Well, have it your way then. If you get in our way, we won't hesitate to hurt you. Just take this as your only warning. What'll be worse? Breaking up with Emily?" I could feel her presence near me. Her voice got much quieter. "Or watch her die in front of you." I literally lost it at that point. The adrenaline was pumping throug me as I tried to loosen the ropes.

"Don't you dare touch Emily! I'll fucking kill you! Do you hear me?! You're A aren't you? Wait until I fucking find you myself bitch." I started tiring out but my body was still attempting to get free of the ropes.

"Get her outta here." One man cut the ropes while the other held me down. "Just remember what I told you Santana, it'll either be you or her. You make the choice."

The man carried me up a flight of stairs and threw me into a van. We couldn't have been more than a couple blocks away. They probably drove me around longer than they really needed to just so I couldn't figure out where exactly I had been. The van came to an abrupt stop and I went flying into one of the sides.

"And here's your stop. Enjoy the rest of the night." The sarcasm in his voice made me want to punch him in his face. "But first." I felt someone kick me in my side, and then when I turned away another kick got me right in the stomach. The pain was like nothing I've ever felt before. They stood me up and one person was holding me while the other punched me in the stomach. I heard the ladies voice now.

"Let me have a turn." She was punching me much harder than the others were. I was getting hit everywhere. But the couple times in the face hurt the most. I started crying. Just when I thought the torture wouldn't end, I heard the van door open. They pulled the bag off of my head and pushed me out. As I went to turn to look at them I felt a sharp pain hit my thigh.

"Take that as the warning shot, Santana. Don't forget what I told you." And with that, the van sped off down the street.

I sat up on my hands and that's when I realized that I had been shot. You know the saying, it doesn't hurt until you see it? Well, it's absolutely true. Once I saw the blood, the pain hit me. I pushed down on where the bullet punctured me and pressed down. I thought it would help, but it just made it worse. I started panicking, I didn't know what to do. People were running over to me.

"Hey! Someone get Emily! It's her girlfriend!" One of the swimmers ran back into the house, and within seconds Emily was running towards me.

"San! Oh my God! Someone give me something to tie around her thigh so I can apply pressure. Hurry!" A boy handed her his shirt and she frantically tied it around my thigh. I collapsed into her. I felt dizzy and found it hard to sit up. "San please stay with me. The ambulance is on it's way. You have to stay with me."

I was already going in and out of consciousness. I felt Emily kiss me. Then everything went black.

* * *

When I woke up again, I found myself in the hospital I looked down at my right leg and found it all bandaged up nice and tight. I closed my eyes and hoped and prayed that if I opened them again I would be in my bed and this was all a dream. But it wasn't. I couldn't believe what I had just been through. I looked to my left and saw Emily sleeping on the chair next to my bed. She still had blood on her clothes and a little on her hands. She must've felt me looking at her because she started to wake up. I smiled at her. She sat up on her chair and grabbed my hand.

"Jesus. You don't know how worried I've been. I'm glad to see you finally woke up. Even though it's 1 a.m." She lifted my hand up to her lips and kissed it, then gently started rubbing it with her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Like absolute shit. I'm also tired of passing out and losing consciousness." I smiled. "But I'm glad to be alive."

She looked at me with an expression I had never seen from her before. Guilt.

"This is all my fault, San. I'm so sorry." She stood up and started pacing. "If it was for me, you wouldn't have gotten drugged. Or kidnapped. Or shot! It's all my fault." I sat up and tried to get up off of the bed to comfort her. But when I went to move, a pain shot through my leg.

"Ahhh." I grimaced in pain and automatically grabbed my thigh. Emily came back over to me and had me lay back down. I grabbed her hands before she could pull away. "It isn't your fault, Em. Okay? You have to believe me."

"But I don't. I know for a fact this was all because of me." I saw tears falling onto the bed. I wiped them away and had her look at me.

"Stop it okay? I'm your _superhéroe_ remember?" She smiled.

"I love it when you talk in spanish, it's so sexy."

" _Yo siempre voy a estar aquí, no importa lo que._ " Emily gave me a confused look. "It means i'm always going to be here for you no matter what. And you can count on that."

"I don't like seeing you hurt though."

"I'll be okay. Don't worry about me okay?" She nodded. "Let's get some rest. We'll talk more in the morning."

That next morning, the doctor came in and explained that I had a drug called Ketamine in my system. It was a new party drug that was fast acting sedative. It was obvious that someone drugged me and when I passed out, that's when they took me.

"Do you know why anyone would want to do this to you?" Yeah. Because my girlfriend is being stalked by some A person who's out to kill her and is now after me too because I'm her girlfriend. But of course I didn't say that out loud.

"Not really. I know there were a lot of drunk frat boys who probably just wanted some fun. But the beating me up part and the shooting, well; I don't really remember." He nodded.

"Well if you want to file a police report here's the number. You'll be discharged this afternoon. You'll have to use crutches for about eight weeks. That's when you're muscle will have healed enough for you to walk on it without injuring it any more than it already is." He placed the clipboard back into it's slot.

"Thanks, Doc." And he walked out of the room. The wait to be discharged was ridiculous. I hated having an IV in my arm, and the EKG attached to me. I just hated the hospital in general. Especially after my drinking incident. It was nothing but bad memories. Within that waiting time, I told Emily exactly what happened. She kissed me and apologized more. I kept telling her it was alright, but she wasn't listening to me.

It was around 7o'clock when I was finally released. The nurse pushed me in a wheelchair to the front of the hospital where Emily was waiting to pick me up. I got up with the help of the nurse and Emily, and placed my crutches under my arms. I used crutches once before, but only for a minor sprained ankle.

When we got to the dorms, there were a bunch of cards taped to our door. Get well soon, feel better and recover quickly made up the majority of them. Emily brought me inside and helped me lay on my bed. She placed a pillow under my leg to elevate it. She went back outside to get the cards off of the door and she read every single one to me.

"I don't even know those people." She laughed.

"Well they know you. It's all from my swim team." I looked at her. "I talk about you all the time."

"Aren't you the cutest!" I started tickling her. Her laugh was so adorable. I tickled her until I couldn't reach her anymore. She got up to change and shower, and I played Sudoku on my phone. I looked at my watch. 9:30 already? Where had the time gone?

"Are you getting tired, Em?" She walked back into my room and yawned. "I'll take that as a yes. Could you sleep with me tonight?"

"I would be more than happy to." I turned on the tv and muted it. It was my form of a nightlight. She made sure the doors were locked, and then shut my room door. I tried moving towards the wall so that she could have more space but she stopped me.

"Don't move. It's fine I have enough space. Promise." She layed down gently, and cuddled next to me.

"You wanna know something? When I was in that room, with the bag on my head. I thought.. I thought that I was going to die. And you know who was the only person that entered my mind? The only person I was worried about at that exact moment?" She looked at me. "It was you. All I could think about, was you and if you were okay. I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with you Emily. I don't care, if someone is going to try and kill me. I will protect you from anything and everything."

She kissed me and gently brushed my cheek with her fingers.

"After going through all of this, you still want to protect me? You know what they're capable of doing right?" I nodded. I did understand the risks and the dangers that I would be putting myself in. But I didn't care. All that matter at this point was her. "I'm not gonna lie, babe. I'm falling in love with you too."

Emily moved closer to me and hugged me. "I feel like with you, anything is possible. Anything San. We're going to make it through this."

I ran my hand through her hair and made my way to her cheek.

"I know we will." She kissed me one last time, and we fell asleep together.


	7. Chapter 7

About a week after the incident at the sorority party, Emily and I found ourselves getting ready to head to Rosewoods for Paige's funeral service. Emily was nervous, of course. Actually nervous isn't even half of the emotions that she was feeling that day. She was sad, nervous, uneasy, anxious. It's just hard to describe her emotions that day. She couldn't even explain them to me. I tried to help her out as much as I could. All she wanted from me was to be there to support her. After the four hour car drive, we finally reached the church. I started getting out of the car but started having trouble. Emily came around from the drivers side and helped me out. I held onto the top of the car as she got my crutches from the back seat.

"Em! San!" We saw the three girls walking over to us.

"What do I tell them about my leg?" She shook my head.

"Don't say anything about it yet, we don't want to get them all riled up before the service." I nodded in agreement.

"Whoa, San what happened to you?" Aria helped me away from the mud puddle I nearly stepped in so I could get onto my crutches.

"It's no big deal right now, we'll tell you guys about it later." Emily shut the door to the car and we walked up to the front door. The usher at the front gave us the program for the service.

In loving memory of Paige McCullers was in big italicized letters on the front above a picture of Paige from their senior year. I watched as Emily's demeanor changed in an instant. I guess everything started to sink in, because I could see tears filling her eyes. We moved into the church trying to find a place to sit. It was packed, so we decided to walk up to the front to see Paige's parents and the body first. As we move closer, Emily started walking slower. I stopped with her as we reached closer.

"It'll be okay, Em. We're all here for you." Spencer reassured her as she rubbed her back. She nodded and started walking again. But right as we could see her body in the casket, she turned around.

"I can't do this. I can't. I can't see her like this guys." She started crying. She gripped the rose she was holding tighter. I grabbed her hands, nearly dropping my crutches.

"You can do this, Em. I'll be with you the whole time okay?" I kissed her on the cheek, and had her look up at me. "You'll be just fine."

"We'll go up first, if that helps you Em." Hanna gave her a reassuring nod.

"Yeah. You guys go first." Emily wiped her face and stood up taller. I could hear her whispering I can do this to herself. The three girls walked up to the casket and held each other for a minute and then walked to give the condolences to Paige's parents.

"Are you ready babe?"

"As ready as I'll ever be for this." We started walking closer to the casket and finally we were right up next to it. I could feel her body shaking. I turned to see streams of tears running down her face. I moved my left crutch from under my arm and held it in my right hand so I could put my arm around her. I felt my crutches slip from my hands but realized that Aria was just taking them from me so I could hold Emily. I mouthed the words thank you to her, and held her close. She was breaking down. I had never seen someone so torn down like she was at that exact moment. I could only imagine what was going through her mind. Her ex girlfriend that she loved, was now laying in a casket lifeless. There wasn't any way that she was coming back. Just a lifeless corpse there for a viewing. It would be the last time Emily would see her for the rest of her life. I could just imagine the pain and hurt that she was experiencing. I know that if that was Brittany, I'd be losing my mind. I did everything I could to try and comfort her. She places the rose in her casket and touched Paiges face. She bent over and kissed her on the forehead, then started crying even harder. In an instant, Emily's face was buried in my chest. I knew at that point that I wouldn't be able to hold her up on my own. It was a horrible time to be injured. Hanna and Aria came up to us.

"C'mon Em, it's okay. Let's just go off to the side." She held Emily up as they walked away. Hanna handed me my crutches and helped me off of the stage.

"I'm trying to comfort her, I really am." You could hear the dissapointment in my voice.

"We know, San. And trust me, you're doing a way better job than any of us could. It's so heartbreaking to see her like this again." We sat down in the middle of the congregation. The service wasn't too long, it was short, sweet and simple. The family requested that the last and final viewing was just for family, and that they would be heading to the burial after. They also asked for Emily to stay as well. I looked at her, mascara and make up all smeared from crying. I picked up my crutches and started to stand. She stood up and made her way up to the front of the church without saying one word. I followed the three other girls outside. When we got outside, I leaned my crutches up against the wall and put my hair up into a ponytail.

"So are you gonna tell us what happened to you yet?" Spencer's voice sounded very anxious.

"I don't think Emily would want me to say anything until we were all together, and somewhere where there wasn't so many people."

"Spence she's right, why don't we go back to Emily's house after this? That way, Santana can get off of her feet and get comfortable." Hanna walked over to me and offered to take my purse and Emily's as well. "Do you think she's all right in there?"

"I'm sure she's alright. Em's a strong person." Aria didn't sound so sure. We all knew that Emily was the most emotionally vulnerable out of the four of them. She's so caring and lovable. I turned to look into the church and saw her walking back towards us. She was wiping her eyes off with the handkerchief that she had.

"How are you feeling, Em?" She walked up to me and put her head on my shoulder.

"I'm alright. It's just a lot to take in, you know?" I rubbed her back. "I'll be okay though. Let's just head to my house. I don't want to go to the burial. I just feel so exhausted."

"Okay that's fine. Do you want one of us to drive your car?" Hanna asked. I mean, she might as well since she had our purses.

"No it's okay I got it. We'll just meet you guys there okay?" They all nodded. Emily grabbed our purses from Hanna and we started walking back to her car. When we finally got there, I sat down and she slowly took my crutches from me. She put them in the backseat and made her way slowly into the drivers seat.

"I can't believe that I'm at Paige's funeral service. Her funeral. I never thought that it'd be this soon. You know what she used to tell me? That when I went to her funeral, I wasn't allowed to be sad. That I wasn't allowed to cry or be sad. She wanted me to be okay. To accept that now she would be in a better place. She'd be looking down on me and that she would always protect me. But I didn't think that only a year after telling me that, she would really be gone. It makes my heart hurt. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel." I looked at her. I could feel the sadness radiating off of her. I grabbed her hand and held it tightly.

"I'm so sorry babe. I can't imagine what emotions are going through you. I think about what it would be like if it were Brittany in that casket, and I would've lost my mind. She was a big part of your life and you two have lots of history together. Just think of it this way, you have your very own guardian angel now. You have to be strong. I bet that's what she would've wanted." I looked up and saw the three girls in Spencer's moms car driving past us. Emily started the car and followed behind them.

Once we reached Emily's house and got settled, we told them the story. That's when the questions started coming.

"Do you remember anything distinctive? Sounds that may have put you close to like, the train tracks, or the hospital or something? Maybe that way we can find the place they took you and that's where A would be hiding." Spencer's voice was fast and straight to the point.

"Or maybe the drive back?" The questions didn't stop.

"Guys relax. It was a terrifying situation for her. Don't overwhelm her with all the questions." Emily was getting protective. It was so sexy when she did. I loved it.

"We should get going, it's pretty late already. We hope you recover really quick Santana. I'm sorry you went through that." Hanna said as she hugged me. I sat up on the bed.

"Thanks." I replied. I didn't really know what else to say. They all said their goodbyes.

"I'll be right back okay? I'm gonna walk them out, and then come back upstairs. Do you want anything while I'm down there? Are you hungry?" I smiled.

"No I'm good baby. Thanks though." She kissed me on the cheek and followed her friends out the door. I laid back on the bed and got comfortable. I turned onto my left side and spotted Emily's senior year book. I started going through it and saw that she had a lot of signatures in it. She was always that popular pretty girl. I found her senior picture. It was so beautiful. As I kept looking through it, I noticed a page that was filled with handwriting.

_I love you more than I can put into words. There are so many things I could write down on this page but it would just be easier to show you. We have been through so much together. From almost being hit by cars, to being held in a cabin by Maya's stalker. We've been through more things in one year than other people can say they've been through all their lives. If God gave me the choice of starting over, I wouldn't change a thing. I've loved every second with you and I know that I'll enjoy every second to come. Nothing can tear us apart. Not even A. Maya was right, you do have a old soul. I love you, Emily. And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you._

I was so into reading her yearbook that I didn't see her standing in the door way.

"I'm sorry." I shut the year book and put it back down where I got it. "I didn't read much, don't be mad."

She shook her head and came to lay next to me.

"It's alright, San. I was going to show you the yearbook anyway." I felt her gently kiss my cheek, and cuddle close. "I feel so exhausted."

"I know, it's been a very eventful day for you." I started to feel hesitant. I've been wanting to ask her about what happened between her and Paige but I never found the right time. " Em, what ever happened betw..."

"Between me and Paige? I was waiting for you to ask."

"I just never found the right time. You don't have to tell me right now." She hugged me tighter and then sighed.

"No it's alright. It all happened right before she left for Stanford."

* * *

_Paige was packing for college, and as usual I was sitting on her bed trying to get her to unpack her bags._

_"Why do you have to leave so early? It's cutting into spending time together." Paige stopped folding her clothes to look at me._

_"You know I have to go, Em. The freshman orientation is the day I get there and plus, Coach Earl wants me there so that I can start practicing for the season opener. I don't want to have to leave you, babe. But I don't have an exact choice right now." My heart dropped._

_It wasn't the easiest thing for me. I was going through rehab after my shoulder surgery. I was disappointed because I should've been going with her. But after the surgery, the doctors told me that it was a long shot for me to start swimming again. It was like my world crumbled before me. Paige was there for me step by step. She came to every rehab session I had. But she was leaving in three days. In three days, my girlfriend would be leaving and going all the way across the country. It was a crazy thought. But none the less, I was happy for her. I'd be her number one fan._

_"I just don't want you to go okay. I already miss you and you're still here." She looked at me. The expression in her face said it all._

_"I already miss you too. But everything is gonna be okay." She stopped what she was doing and came to sit next to me on my bed. "You and I, we're indestructible. Nothing can come between us."_

_Those three days came and went, and before I knew it I was at the airport with her saying goodbye. I cried so hard, I didn't know what to do. I watched as she walked away, until she was out of sight. Our relationship was strong for the first couple of weeks. She'd tell me all about college swimming. And how if I were there we'd be kicking some major ass. At that moment of time, rehab was going great and I almost had a full range of motion in my shoulder. I was ecstatic. The next weekend was Paige's first swim meet. Spencer and I decided to take a trip to Cali to surprise her. The plane ride there was long and miserable. Babies were crying and the kid sitting behind me kept kicking my seat. The car ride over to the college was full of anxious feelings. I never felt like that for a long time. Spencer and I sat in the stands waiting for the Stanford team to come out of their locker room. As they walked out, I started to look for Paige. I hadn't seen her in over a month, and it was the longest time we were apart. I couldn't find her, so I was confused as to where she was._

_"Em I think we should go." Spencer stood up from her seat and tried to get me to stand up._

_"What? Why? I still haven't found Paige. Plus I want to watch the meet." I got out of her grip and got comfortable in my seat again. When I looked over at where the Stanford team was, I spotted Paige. She was holding another girls hand. I was so upset. She had been lying to me the entire time. I got up from my seat and stormed down to the side of the pool. Spencer got up and quickly followed me._

_"Don't do anything, Em. I know you want to but it isn't worth it." I looked at her._

_"At this moment, I don't care about anything." I walked straight up to her and pushed her._

_"What the hell is this Paige? Who the fuck is this bitch? I come all the way here from Rosewood to see this bullshit? After all the 'I Love You's and the fucking times you told me that you would never do anything to hurt me. And then you do THIS. This, this by far. Is the worse thing I have ever been through. After everything that happened to me, to US. And you go and do this. I'm done, Paige. You can have this fucking bitch. Have a nice life. Let's go Spence." Before Paige could get a word in, I was gone. I didn't say not one word on the flight home. I didn't say much really for the next couple of weeks. Paige tried calling and texting but I didn't answer or reply. I found no reason to. The girls didn't know what to do with me. I barely talked to them. Eventually I came around, and everything started looking up. I applied at Penn State, and got in. The girls are the ones that brought me to campus. Things were looking up._

* * *

She literally had been through everything. I hugged her tight, and kissed her forehead. I could tell she was crying again.

"We didn't talk for a while. Until my birthday came around and she called me. We talked for two hours. After that we'd talk a little here and there, but things were never really the same between us." She sat up and wiped her eyes. "You know, by this time I would've thought that I ran out of tears."

"Do you still love her?" She turned to me and grabbed my hands.

"Yes. I do love her. Just like how I know you still love Brittany. But as of now, you're the one I love." She smiled.

She loved me? I had been thinking about that too. We clicked from the beginning.

"I love you too Emily." I kissed her. "I would never do anything like that to you. I would never do anything to hurt you."

That night, we went out to dinner with Emily's parents. We had a great time, her dad kept talking to me about nationals. Apparently he was in the glee club at his high school. After dinner, Emily and I went to the movies and saw Pacific Rim.

"That movie was the greatest movie in the entire world! I'm so amped up I wanna be a pilot. I want this movie to be real." She giggled.

"You're so silly, San." She locked her arm in mine. "I would be your co pilot. Our connection would be so strong. The Kaiju's would stand no chance."

"We'd kick some ass that's for sure." I walked up to the drivers side of the car and got in. We drove home and made sure to not make any noise so we wouldn't wake her parents. We walked quietly into her room and shut the door.

"I hope you had a good time tonight." She started taking off her shirt and shorts, then laid on the bed. I proceeded to do the same. As I laid down, I heard Emily's phone vibrate.

"Just when I thought A wasn't going to bother us this weekend." I picked up her phone and saw that it wasn't A. It was Hanna.

_Hey I don't know if you guys are still awake, but we have a problem. My house, ASAP._


	8. Chapter 8

Emily got up quicker than I had ever seen her get up before. I wasn't even going to try and tell her to calm down, only because I figured this was the kind of thing that happened to her before. And when one of the girls said that they needed all of them there ASAP, they didn't hesitate. As she was rushing around to get clothes and shoes on, I was still struggling to reach my crutches without putting pressure on my leg.

"Oh shit. I'm so sorry babe. I'm just.. I'm just in a rush. I haven't felt like this in a while. I was hoping that we wouldn't be having any problems when we were here." She reached out for my crutches just as I went to grab them and I started falling over. She dropped the crutches to grab on to me. Slowly, she helped me up, and kissed me. "I'm sorry San."

"It's okay. Foreal. Could you grab my clothes for me though?" She handed me my clothes as she continued to frantically search in her closet for something. I saw her put a black bag into her backpack.

"What's that Em?" She looked at me and the look she gave me was nothing I ever seen. "What is it?"

"It's nothing okay San? Honest." I was kind of skeptical, but I took her word for it. We went downstairs quietly, and left for Hanna's.

"What do you think it could be? Something with A?" All of it was so new to me. They were like, veterans playing the A game and I was the rookie who was thrown into the game.

"At this point, it could be anything. From someone being dead, to Hanna not being able to open her mayonnaise jar. With her, anything is possible." And she started laughing. "We'll just have to see when we get there."

Once Emily put the car in park, she sat there breathing heavily and held her face in her hands.

"I just don't want this to be something that's gonna change the game again. I don't even want to play this game anymore, San. I don't. I'm so scared." She started to cry. "I just want it to be done and over with."

I started to gently rub her back as I let her cry. I looked up at the garage and saw the light turn on.

"Let's just go inside, babe. Maybe the news that Hanna has isn't that bad?" She wiped her eyes slowly. I leaned over and kissed her gently on her cheek. "I'm never leaving your side."

I knew that all of this was hard for her. She lost her ex girlfriend, and her current girlfriend was just shot. I don't know what I would've done if it were me. I would've lost all hope for myself to be honest. But the bond between Em and her three friends is super strong and I can see no one other than them getting through such an ordeal. If it were me and the Glee club then we would've been straight screwed and half of us would have probably been killed. Emily pulled herself together and got out of the drivers seat. I followed behind her. She didn't even bother to knock on the door she just walked right in.

"Em? San? Is that you?" Hanna called out.

"Yeah it's us. What's going on?" Emily walked into the living room and sat down. She tapped the cushion next to her and I proceeded to sit next to her. Emily put her arm around me and held me tight.

"I'm sorry we had to get up again. I know you wanted to relax." She rubbed her hand over my bandage gently, careful enough to not apply to much pressure on it. Hanna came down the stairs with a sense of urgency. You could plainly see it in her face. She was holding something behind her back.

"What is that, Han?" She hesitated to bring it out from behind her back. "Come on, Hanna. We didn't get up out of bed at this time of night for you not to show us."

"What's the big emergency?" Spencer yelled as she pushed the door open. Aria was following right behind her.

"She has it in her hands but doesn't want to show us." Emily was rolling her eyes now.

"Thank you, Emily. But I was waiting for everyone to get here." She proceeded to bring her hands in front of her, and to my surprise, it was a pregnancy test.

"Hanna don't tell me..." But Spencer was cut off.

"Yeah. I'm pregnant." Everyone gasped. It sounded like a mix of excitement and surprise. "And before you ask, yes. It's Caleb's. He's the only one I've been intimate with for the last year."

"Are you gonna tell him at least? Have you been talking to him? Where's he at anyway?" The words seemed to fall out of Aria's mouth.

"Damn, Aria. Calm down." Emily laughed. "Have you talked to him since he left for Ravenswood?"

"Yeah I have. Here and there. But we haven't carried a full conversation for a long time." She went to throw the pregnancy test in the trash. "I tried calling him tonight but he didn't answer so I left a voicemail."

"Are you gonna keep it? I hope you do." Spencer smiled. "I've been waiting for the day one of us had a child. I mean, it was kinda impossible for you Em, but I figured you'd adopt or something."

Emily rolled her eyes and laughed.

"You're so stupid Spencer. Of course I want to have kids, yes I'm gonna adopt but I'm in no place to do anything like that right now."

The rest of the night was full of questions and baby name suggestions. Emily suggested EJ. As in, Emily Junior. I just laughed. I watched as they talked and laughed. It was the first time that I saw any of them in such a good mood while in Rosewood. They were always so serious. But then again, Rosewood didn't seem like a place that you could have a good time. It was so dark and accompanied by a bad vibe. I layed back on the couch and stretched. I took a moment to close my eyes and yawn. I felt her hands rub my stomach.

"You okay San? You must be bored listening to all of the stupid stuff we're saying." Everyone else continued laughing at some dumb thing Hanna just said.

"I'm good, hun. Honest. If anything I can just fall asleep until you're ready to go. I know you're having a good time. I'm not gonna interrupt that." She kissed me and then smiled.

"It won't be too long okay? If anything, you can lay in Hanna's room." I nodded. I got up and walked into Hanna's room. It was really pink, just like I expected. I sat on the bed and laid my crutches next to me. Just as I got comfortable, my phone vibrated. _Damn, who the fuck wants to text me right now._

_Santana, it's Rachel. Call me. ASAP._

_What the hell could Rachel want right now?_ I thought to myself. I picked up my phone and called her.

"Santana thank God I thought you'd be sleeping already. I have some... terrible news. It's Quinn." My heart dropped. Quinn? What... What could've happened?

"What? What happened to her?" I could here sobbing and EKG in the background. "No. Rachel no. Rachel what happened to her?" I sat up now.

"She got into a really bad car accident. It's not looking good. The brain swelling hasn't gone down and the doctors can't tell if any of the damage is permanent." The tears were falling heavily.

"How long does she have?" I tried my best to get up off of the bed but I felt so weak that I fell to the ground. I leaned back on the nightstand.

"The doctors said maybe two days at the most. That's if things take a turn for the worst." I through my phone at the wall and ran my hands through my hair. I couldn't even believe what was happening. Quinn was my best friend. I could hear running up the stairs.

"San! Santana?! Where are you? Babe! What's wrong?" I tried getting words through the crying but it was difficult.

"Quinn. It's Quinn. I need to get to New York. Please." She held me close and tight.

"We'll get you there okay? We'll get you there. For now let's get home so we can get our things. We'll go now." She helped me up and got me outside. The three girls were sitting at the kitchen counter.

"Is everything alright, San?" Hanna asked. She sounded hesitant. I mean wasn't it obvious that things weren't alright? Emily shook her head.

"We have to go, guys. It's her best friend." They each hugged me bye and hoped for the best.

I got into the car and buckled up. So many thoughts were going through my mind. I just talked to her before the funeral this morning. She told me that she was heading to New York to visit Rachel and Kurt since she had a break in studies. It was only for the weekend. And within that time, that last text to her. She's now on life support. I don't know what to do. I didn't know what to do with myself. I started punching my leg, and Emily freaked out.

"Santana no! Don't! It's gonna hurt you more!" She frantically tried to get me to stop while driving still. She pulled into the driveway and threw the car in park. She got out of the car and ran over to my side and swung the door open and grabbes my hands.

"Please San. Hurting yourself isn't going to help Quinn." I couldn't thouh. The anger was building inside of me.

"Why? Why am I the one here and she's laying in that hospital bed at the brink of death? She's only done so much good in this world and that's what she gets out of it. It isn't fair, Em." I let myself fall into her arms. She caught me and tried to console me.

"Nothing is fair in life, Santana. That's what you have to understand. We're put into these situations to learn and grow from them. That's what I took out of that year of torture." She wiped the water from my eyes but they continued falling. "You have to be strong okay? Not just for you. Not for me. But for Quinn. Because you know that's what she wants and needs right now. I'm going to get our things and let my parents know what's happening then we'll head out okay?"

I shook my head to acknowledge what she said and she ran inside. I shut the door and took a deep breath. It's just so much to take in you know? Back in high school, we were the top bitches at McKinley. We were the Unholy Trinity. Me, her and Britt. Britt. I grabbed my phone and opened a new text. But before I could start writing, I got one from her.

_San I don't know if you know already or anything but Quinn is in the hospital and it isn't looking good. I'm on a flight from LA to New York right now. See you there._

I replied back saying that I was on my way and to have a safe flight. Emily came back to the car with our bags and threw them in the trunk. When she sat back down in the drivers seat she was breathing heavily.

"Mom said that she hopes that everything will be alright." She looked over at me after buckling her seatbelt. "How are you doing? Hanging in there?"

"I'm doing the best I can at this point." She gave me a half smile.

"I'll get us there as fast as poasible okay? If you want to sleep it's fine. I drank a monster before I came out of the house. And I have one more right here."

Emily pulled a can of Monster out of her purse and placed it in the cupholder. I reclined the seat back and got comfortable. Her hand was gently rubbing my leg. it was so relaxing. It was something about crying that just made me exhausted and I hated it. Before falling asleep I turned to Emily and placed my hand on her lap.

"Thank you, babe. It means alot that we're going all the way to New York." She kissed her hand and placed it on my cheek.

"Anything for you, my love. Get some rest okay?" I gave her an exhausted grin and turned back over. I turned my phone on to look at my wallpaper. It was the last picture I had taken with Quinn before I left Yale. I felt like I was gonna cry but I knew Emily was right. I needed to be strong not only for me, but for Quinn too. I took Emily's hand and cuddled with it. I kissed it three times before I fell asleep.

"I love you Emily." I heard her smile. And as stupid as that sounds, it's the truth.

"I love you too, Santana. Sleep good."


	9. Chapter 9

When I woke up, we were just pulling i to the hospital parking lot. I turned to Emily and she looked so exhausted. I felt terrible.

"Babe.." My voice cracked. A coughed a couple times to try and clear it. "Babe I'm sorry that I slept for that long. Crying does that to me."

"It's okay hun don't worry I was fine. But I'm so tired now." She yawned and as she pulled into the parking stall. "What were you dreaming about?"

"I don't remember dreaming about anything. But I probably did dream. Why?"

"You were talking in your sleep. It sounded pretty intense. I mean, I couldn't understand the words because you were talking too softly but the tone you had, it was like you were threatining someone." She turned towards me and kissed me. "We should get in there. Don't wanna waste a minute out here."

"Alright, let's go." I opened the car door and got out without my crutches.

"San what are you doing? You're not going to use your crutches?" She went to open the backdoor to grab them but I stopped her.

"No, I don't want to. If there's anything I don't want now, it's the million questions I'm going to get if I do use them. I'm fine with limping." I went to put my arm over her shoulders. "Can you help me up the stairs though?" She held on to me as we went up three flights of stairs and finally got in the hospital. The stench of pinsol and bleach hit my nose hard. I walked up to the nurse at the reception desk and smiled.

"Hi. I'm looking for Quinn Fabrays room?" She looked at me and then looked down at her clipboard.

"She's in Room 4. Down the hall to the right."

"Thank you so much. C'mon Em. After I introduce you to everyone you can sleep okay? I promise." Her eyes looked so droopy and she kept yawning every five minutes. "You crashed hard from the monsters huh?"

"Yeah I did. I hate when I crash."

I lifted my arm up to knock on the door but couldn't find it in myself to move. The last thing I wanted to see was Quinn hooked up to all sorts of cords and crap. I felt Emily behind me, rubbing my sides.

"You gotta go in, babe. I'll be with you the entire time." I knocked but immediately turned around to walk away. She stopped me and made me turn around again. The door opened and it was Kurt.

"Santana! We were all wondering when you were going to get here. Who's this with you hmm?" He was wearing a long sleeve shirt from American Eagle and sweat pants. Not the normal Kurt attire but it suited him well.

"This is my girlfriend, Emily. Em, this is Kurt." She smiled and shook his hand.

"I've heard so much about you. Santana talks about you and the rest of the Glee club all the time." He sort of blushed.

"Has she now?" Mercedes appeared from behind the curtains. "It's a pleasure meeting the new woman in Santana's life. I'm Mercedes. You should get in here, San. Everyone's been waiting to see you. And I'm sure they'll be more than happy to meet you as well Emily."

Mercedes hugged me and hugged Emily and followed us inside. As I turned the corner, I saw that everyone was there.

"Hey everyone." I stood close to Emily and gave a small wave. "Everyone this is my girlfriend, Emily. Em, this is Rachel, Finn, Blaine, Sam, Tina, Mike, Sugar, Joe, Puck, and Artie."

They all gave a wave as I introduced them.

"And of course, Quinn." I looked at her laying down on the hospital bed. It was just so sureal. I sat on the empty chair next to her and held her hand. "Hey, Q. It's me, Santana. Emily's here with me too. I know how much you wanted to meet her. Quinn please wake up, please. I don't like seeing you like this."

Emily started to massage my shoulders. I don't know how I would be if she wasn't here with me. It was like, whenever Em was around me I had this calm demeanor. I barely got mad now days. And for me, that's rare.

"Have you heard from Brittany at all today? The last thing we knew she was almost here." Mike asked. I shook my head.

"The last thing she told me was she was on the plane from LA." I turned to look at Emily who was now sitting on another empty chair near the wall. I laughed. Her head was back against the wall, mouth open and snoring slightly. I walked over to her and gently ran my hand through her hair.

"Babe why don't you go in the car and sleep? At least you can recline the chair back and relax." She rubbed her eyes and slowly focused her eyes to look at me.

"You sure? I can stay here if you want me to, it's no problem." I smiled and kissed her forehead.

"I'm positive. Go and get some rest." She got up from the chair and I walked her out. I watched as she walked down the hallway and disappeared out the main entrance. i walked back in the room to see everyone smiling.

"What's going on? Why are all of you smiling?" Tina spoke first.

"Because Santana, look at you. You look great. Glowing, actually. She must make you really happy." I blushed. Was it that noticeable?

"She does make me happy. After Britt, I never thought I'd be happy again." I looked over at Quinn who was still laying helplessly on the bed. "Quinn told me that I deserved better. She gave me that extra push to not give up."

"Quinn has done a lot of things for us. She always talked about all of us getting together for a mini reunion. But who would've thought that THIS would be the reason we're all together again?" Finn was staring out of the window. "She has such a huge heart, she doesn't deserve all of this."

"Finn.." Rachel pleaded.

"No. This isn't fair, Rachel." He was clearly upset. "I'm going to go find her doctors." He stormed out of the room with Rachel following right behind him.

Everyone sat and talked for about an hour and a half. Just sharing memories and looking back on all of the ridiculous songs that Mr. Shue had us perform. It was a nice feeling to be back with old friends. The happiness that came from within me put me in a familiar place. Like I was home again.

"Where's her parents? Do they know?" I looked over at Quinn, who hadn't moved not one time since I got there. "They must be so worried."

"They're actually on their way from the hotel." Kurt was sitting on Blaine's lap playing with his unjelled hair. I was rubbing Quinn'a hand hoping for some kind of reaction. But I got nothing. I heard high heels walking down the hallway accompanied by heavy footsteps.

"Guys I think that's her parents." Artie started to wheel out the door. "Hey Mrs. Fabray. Mr. Fabray."

"Hey Artie. How are you doing?" Mrs. Fabray walked up to him and hugged him.

"I'm doing alright." She looked at him.

"You look great. I heard about the award you won for your mini documentary on the Glee club. It's amazing. We're all proud of you." He smiled.

"Thanks. It was the greatest piece I've ever put together."

"I think we should all go, guys. So that her parents can have some time alone with Quinn." Tina stood up and took Mike's hand. And slowly, everyone followed them out. They all hugged Quinn's parents before leaving the room.

"What do you guys want to do? We can go to the cafeteria and get something to eat. The food is actually decent here. None of that no sodium shit that other hospitals serve." Artie was rolling in front of everyone and turned around.

"Yeah that sounds good." Mike agreed. "Let's all head over there. You coming Santana?" I was standing in front of the baby nursery looking in at the newborns.

"Huh? Oh yeah I'm coming. I'm just gonna text Emily and see if she wants to come with. I'll meet you guys down there."

They turned around and started walking down the hallway. I grabbed my phone out of my purse and proceeded to text Emily.

_Did you want to eat babe? Everyone's going down to the cafeteria._

She might not text me back, she was exhausted. Which was alright. I was just going to wait for about 10 minutes and then head down to the cafeteria on my own if anything. I looked into the room once more and watched as the nurse picked up a baby and handed her to her parents. The joy and happiness was radiating from them. It made me smile.

"San?" I turned to see Brittany walking down the hallway. I hadn't seen her in over four months.

"Hey Britt. You just missed everyone. They went down to the cafeteria to get some food." She came up close to me and hug me. The hug felt so familiar and warm.

"How's Quinn doing? She turned and looked into the window of the room and saw her parents sitting next to her.

"Nothing's changed. She's still in critical condition. The brain swelling went down a little but not enough for the doctors to determine anything." She rubbed my back.

"This is so crazy. We're the Unholy Trinity. And without her, well.." She started to cry.

"Britt don't think that way, she's going to make it out of this. She always does. Quinn's strong and tough and.. She'll be alright okay?" I hugged her. She held on to me tightly and continued to cry.

"I don't want to lose her, San."

"You gotta stay positive. That's the only thing that's going to help you. You have to be strong." I let go of her to look her in her face. "You can do this."

She looked me in the eyes for a while. She just looked so sad.

"I've missed you, San. When I was Australia, I had a lot of downtime. And I spent a lot of that time thinking about you." She rubbed my arm all the way down to my hands and held them. "I couldn't stop thinking about how I want to be with you again and how I made the hugest mistake of my life, by cheating on you. I never should've hurt you that way, and I'm sorry."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Now she wants to apologize for everything?

"Britt I need to tell you somethi..." She cut me off.

"I requested to take 2 weeks off of training in Australia. I knew you were going to be here too so I figured we could spend time together." She held onto my hands with a stronger grip now. "I still love you, Santana."

"Hey San, what's going on?" Emily appeared from behind Brittany and I pulled my hands from out of her grip as quickly and as not obvious as I possibly could.

"Hey babe." I grabbed her hand and had her stand next to me. "That's what I was trying to tell you. I have a girlfriend now. Emily this is.."

"Brittany. Right?" She stuck her hand out.

I could see the blood rush from her face and even more sadness filled her eyes. She was holding her composure the best she could. She started to shake Emily's hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." The words stumbled out of her mouth.

"Same here. I've heard so many good things about you." Emily said it with a smile.

"Alright well, I'm going to go inside real quick to see Quinn and her parents. I'll meet you guys down in the cafeteria." Brittany quickly turned around and went into the room.

"What was all that about?" Em asked as we walked towards the elevator. She grabbed my hand and interlocked her fingers within mine.

"It was nothing, babe. Did you rest up?"

"Yeah I did. I feel refreshed. How was hanging out with your friends?" She pressed the L button to get down to the main floor Where the cafeteria was.

"It was nice. It felt like we were just in the choir room yesterday. Nothings changed with them, except that Mike and Tina got married."

"That's so great for them." She kissed my cheek. "Any news on Quinn?"

"None. Nothing new." We walked into the cafeteria. I got a cheeseburger and Emily got a salad. We walked over to where everyone was sitting and sat down. We all talked and they had a million questions for Emily. She was really cool with all of them and answered whatever they wanted.

"So why's Santana limping? She told us that she fell down a flight of stairs. But knowing Santana, she's probably lying." Mercedes said.

"Excuse me I didn't lie." I looked at Emily and started laughing.

"Well Santana got drugged, kidnapped, and was shot after being beat up by people who wants to kill San, me, and my three friends." Everyone just sort of looks at her in shock, and then burst out into laughter.

"Alright. That was a pretty good story. So she really fell down the stairs?" Mercedes couldn't stop laughing.

"Yeah. I don't know how she did it though. She's not the clumsy type."

The cheeseburger I got was delicious, especially for hospital food. I looked around at all my friends. I missed hanging out with them surprisingly. But I've grown to learn that they're not only my friends, they were my family. I mean , they all came for Quinn.

_We've got a Code Blue in ICU. Code Blue._

And as the lady over the speaker continued speaking, my heart began to shatter. I could see everyone getting up from their seats running towards the door. I couldn't find it in myself to move. I could hear clocks stopping, and my breathing getting heavy. I heard Emily saying my name, but it started getting faint. I felt as if the world was starting to crumble. And all I could think of was one thing.

Quinn.


	10. Chapter 10

"Santana. Babe wake up. Are you okay? Hey someone get me a cup of water please. I think she's coming around." I could feel Emily fanning me with her magazine. I started to sit up and realized I was on the bench by our table.

"What happened?" Emily smiled and put her magazine down.

"After you all heard the announcement over the PA, everyone started panicking and everything got really hectic. You stood up, and started to hyperventilate. And within like 10 seconds, you passed out. I caught you before you hit the floor, and that's how we ended up here." I looked around and saw Brittany and Mercedes running through the double doors of the cafeteria.

"Santana? What happened?" Mercedes walked over to me and sat next to me on the bench. I turned me head to see Brittany telling Emily something. Em shook her head and walked back over to me.

"Hey babe. We need to go and see Quinn now, okay." I felt Mercedes rub my back.

"What's going on?" She helped me up and started to walk me to the doors.

"Just come on. We need to go now." We walked down the hallway, and reached Quinn's room. She kissed me on the cheek. I walked into the room first. I was so afraid of what I was going to see. I didn't walk in and see the doctors unhooking her chords and taking out her IV like they do on tv. I didn't want to see her laying there lifeless. I held my breath as I started to walk towards the curtains. My heart started to beat faster. I could feel the tears building up. No. This couldn't be happening. All I could think about was everything we had been through. The things we celebrated together, the obstacles we hurdled over. It was like our memories flashing before my eyes. I stopped right before the opening.

"San? Is that you?" Quinn. I quickly opened the curtains and saw her sitting up in her bed The tears started coming, but in a good way. I ran up to her and hugged her. She loosened my grip and wiped my eyes.

"You had me scared to death, Q. Don't you ever do that again." She smiled.

"Do you really think I want to go through that again?" Quinn laughed. "And this must be the Emily that I've heard so much about."

"It's very nice to meet you. Not under these circumstances of course." Emily walked up to Quinn and shook her hand. "I've heard a lot about you as well."

"Santana would call me everyday and talk about you. How cute you were, how she loved your laugh, the smell of your hair, and more I just can't think of them." I looked at Quinn. But immediately had to turn because I started to blush. "And look at her. She's blushing. But I can see what she saw in you, you're pretty cute."

"Hey now, don't be hitting on my girlfriend." She started laughing and so did Emily. "Speaking of girlfriends, who was the girl you mentioned that last time we talked? You never told me who she was."

"Well, alright. I might as well tell you. The person I met, she's from McKinley. And well, I met her about four years ago. But I didn't realize that I had feelings for her until our senior year and even then I wasn't sure about the feelings I had kept for her in my heart. But then a couple months ago, I realized that I loved her. She has feelings for me too. We've been talking for a while. She isn't ready to come out yet." That's when it hit me. I didn't say anything, and she continued her story. "You have to promise me that you won't say anything. It's a very delicate situation. And I don't know how she's taking everything."

"Rachel's doing just fine, Quinn. Don't worry." Emily said it right before I did.

"How'd you know that?" The look of shock and confusion was plastered all over Quinn's face.

"It wasn't hard. When we first got here, she was the one sitting the closest to you. It looked like she wanted to hold your hand but she was being really hesitant. As the PA announcement went off, she was the one up and out of the door first. She was also the one that called Santana. It was just a guess though." I walked over to Emily and put my hands around her waist.

"What did I tell you, Quinn. She's a smart one." I kissed her cheek and hugged her tight.

"Please don't say anything though, okay? Finn doesn't know. She wants to tell him herself."

"Don't worry. We won't say a word okay?" I held up my hand. "Scouts honor."

"You guys look exhausted, by the way. Why don't you get out of here and get a hotel room or something?" I looked and Em and saw the bags under her eyes. I know I did wake her up from nap after she drove all those miles to get us here from Rosewood. "Go on. I'll be fine. Rachel is staying the night with me while my parents go back to their hotel. I'll be fine. I made it through the worse part now please. Go and get a room so you guys can rest."

Emily yawned and turned to face me. She mouthed the words lets go. I walked over to Quinn and gave her a hug.

"We'll be back in the morning okay? First thing." Emily walked over and gave her a hug as well.

Walking out the door we ran into Tina and Mike who were getting ready to leave as well. We told them bye and proceeded out of the hospital.

"What a crazy couple of hours huh? Hanna's pregnant, Quinn got into a crash, you passed out again and then everything was okay." She smiled at me. "FOr now at least. Spencer texted me earlier and asked how everything's going. I updated her, but I'm sure she's sleeping. San? Are you listening?"

"Yes babe I am."

I promise you I was, but I had so many things on my mind. Especially what Brittany told me earlier. That she missed me? How she still loves me. It just replayed in my head over and over. Emily unlocked the car and we both got in. I inclined my hair and shut my eyes.

* * *

_2 Years Ago_

_I was sitting in the choir room waiting for the bell to ring. I found myself spending majority of my free time sitting in here just thinking about life, I guess. I felt so distant from everyone lately. It was like I needed to be alone. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall._

_"Santana?" I opened my eyes and saw Brittany walking towards me. "Are you alright? You haven't seemed like yourself lately. Finn's been really happy which means that you haven't insulted him. What's going on?"_

_"I rather not talk about it, Brittany. Why are you here anyway?" I looked at her, and I saw her eyes looking into mine._

_"I see you sitting in here every single day. By yourself. And everyday I wonder if I should come in and talk to you. But I was afraid. Afraid that you were going to get mad at me for trying to talk to you. Obviously all of that didn't matter to me today. I came in here because I care about you even if you don't care about me."_

_"I do care about you Brittany. I just want to be alone, that's all." She grabbed my hand._

_"Well, I know you do. But maybe we can be alone together." I started to cry. "Hey don't cry. What's wrong? Was it something I said?"_

_"You didn't do anything, Britt. Honest. It isn't you. I have just spent time in here by myself because it helps with my temper. That way I don't go off on others. But it's slowly not working. I don't know what to do." She leaned in and kissed me._

_"Maybe there's something else that you just didn't know that you needed." She kissed me again and this time I went with it. It felt so perfect. The feeling was nothing I ever felt before._

_"Britt, I..."_

_"You're not like that? It's alright. I understand. I do. I am coming to understand myself. Maybe that's what you need. It's not that you want to be alone, it's that you want to understand who you really are. You'll get there. And if you ever need any help you know that I'm always here for you. If you want to forget that I kissed you never happened, then it's fine." She held my hand tighter. "If you want to keep it a secret, then we can do that too."_

_"I don't want to pretend like it didn't happen, Britt. It's what I want." I turned to her. "I just want to be ready to come out with it to everyone. I want to be the one to tell them. I don't want them finding out on their own. I'm just not ready to make that announcement."_

_"Hey I won't rush you. We can take things slow. I won't push you to do anything that you are not ready to do."_

_I kissed her one more time._

_"I want to be us. Let's just keep it between us for now okay?" She shook her head in agreement._

_"And that's fine. I... I love you. I have for a while." She looked down. "I hope that doesn't chase you away."_

_"Nothing could ever chase me away, girl."_

_I kissed her and pulled her in for a hug. She welcomed my embrace and layed her head on my shoulder._

_"I would never leave you, Santana. Not now, not ever."_


	11. Chapter 11

We had fallen asleep in the car for a while, but woke up and realized that the car wasn't the best place to get a good nights sleep. We drove down the road to the nearest hotel and got a room. Laying on the bed was the greatest feeling. After being cooped up in a car for several hours, your back and the rest of your body for that matter becomes stiff and sore.

The first thing the next morning, Emily and I took a shower. We rarely took showers together. Showering was something that most couples did but we couldn't. It's hard for us because for one, we like the water at different temperatures. And two, most showers we used were not that big. Especially the one we have in our room. But the shower in the hotel was gigantic which was nice. I love showering with her, she's so sexy. Rubbing her all over while she's under the water is so… Hot. I don't know any other word to describe it. I got out of the shower first because she stayed to shave. I put my bra and underwear on and layed on the bed.

"Hurry babe. I don't want to start driving back to the college late." I heard her saying something from the shower, so it was either she agreed or she told me to hold the fuck on. Like she always does.

I heard my ringtone making a sound and saw that it was an unknown number. I was hesitant to answer, only because of the whole A situation. But I decided to answer it at the last second.

"Hello?" I held my breath hoping that it wasn't going to be what I thought it was.

"San? It's Quinn. Are you guys coming to see me before you head out of town?"

"Oh hey Q. No, we can't I'm sorry. Emily has a early class tomorrow morning and she can't afford to miss anymore classes and neither can I." I heard her sigh, and I knew that she was disappointed. But school was important and Quinn knew that. She would be heading back to Yale once she was discharged. The university knew what happened so they gave her some sort of grace period for all of her assignments and labs.

"It's alright. I'm planning on coming to visit one day don't you worry about that." I chuckled a little. "I'm serious Santana I wanna see your room. That you probably barely use. I bet you're in Em's room most of the time anyway."

"Well you know me all too well, Ms. Fabray." I heard Rachel in the back saying something, but it just sounded like mumbling.

"Rachel wanted me to tell you that you look very happy with Emily. And that she's glad that you've found something that makes you happy again. Of course I mean that too." They always had my back.

"Thanks guys. I'm gonna head out though, I'll text you once we get back to our place okay?"

"Sounds good to me. Drive safely alright. I love you San." Emily walked through the door of the bathroom and grinned.

"I love you too, Q. Talk to you later." I pressed end and turned my attention to my girlfriend who was standing at the foot of the bed with nothing but her towel on.

"We have some time babe. Why don't you and me do the dirty." She winked and I started laughing.

"The dirty huh?" I laughed more. "What is this, the 80's?"

Her towel dropped and so did my jaw. She jumped onto the bed and pinned me. Her body got close. The feeling of her bare skin on mine always got me.

"I don't think people in the 80's had the incredibly hot sex that we do." She started kissing my stomach and made her way up to my face. I shivered. I flipped her over and got her pinned onto the bed.

"You're definitely right about that."

About an hour later, we found ourselves under the covers and completely exhausted. Emily got up from the bed and started to get dressed. Her hair was messy and her back; well you could say for sure that her back was scratched up. I couldn't help it, really. You can't get pleasure like that from just anyone.

"Come on babe. We should get going. The drive home is long. And you're staying awake with me this time. I was lonely driving by myself."

"Don't worry I'm staying awake with you this time, don't worry." I got up from the bed and started getting dressed myself.

We checked out of the hotel at around 3:00 pm and headed back to Penn State. The drive was long, but we spent it telling each other stories about our friends. Now that we had an idea of who they were, telling the stories were much more entertaining.

"Yeah that's fucking ridiculous babe. Aria actually thought that she was hallucinating?" She started laughing hysterically.

"Yeah. But in actuality everything was real. It took us a couple days to get her to calm down. But eventually she came around. Ezra helped a lot. Up until, well.. Up until that night." Her voice got real low, and she started to look kind of pale.

"Em? What's wrong? Who's Ezra?" She kept her eyes focused on the road. She didn't answer me. "Who's Ezra?"

"Ezra is A. Well was A. He's dead now." I looked at her. If this Ezra person was A, then who's texting us?

"I don't understand. If Ezra is dead, then who's texting us? Who's starting everything again? It's not like he's 'back from the dead'." I threw in the air quotes to add emphasis to that part of my sentence. "Are you guys sure he's dead?"

"Yeah. I'm sure alright." She swallowed hard.

"You saw a dead body?" I was kind of shocked.

"Oh San, I've seen many dead bodies. Seeing him dead didn't bother me one bit."

"Well? Then what's the big deal? If seeing him dead wasn't a big deal then why do you seem so bothered by it?"

"Because. I'm the one that killed him. It happened at Ravenswood, last summer."

* * *

_One Year Ago_

_I had gotten a text from Aria around 10pm saying that she needed the three of us over at A's layer. It wasn't uncommon for this girl to go off on her own. But to head into A territory without any back up at all was risky. Things were getting crazy. And I mean, crazier than it had ever been. We reached the building about a half an hour later we received the text messages. I grabbed my backpack out from the back seat and followed everyone inside._

_"Why did she come to Ravenswood? I thought she was spending the night with Ezra?" I shrugged._

_"Maybe they came to Ravenswood and she stumbled onto something? Maybe she's with Alli again." We all walked up the stairs and found the door to the room wide open. I got skeptical, but of course I did in every situation that invoved A. I reached into my bag and grabbed out my handgun that I bought from this guy at school._

_"Are you crazy Em? Put that away! You already know what happened the last time we got tangled with a gun." Hanna stopped walking and crossed her arms._

_"Cut it out, Hanna. I'm not taking any chances."_

_We walked into the room slowly, only to hear muffled sounds._

_"Aria? Is that you?" Spencer called out. "Aria?" We turned the corner and saw Aria, but she was tied to a chair and had a handkerchief in her mouth. Her eyes widened in panic. She started wiggling trying to tell us something. But it was too late._

_"Hello ladies." I turned around first to see Ezra._

_"Ezra? It was you? You were A the whole time?" Everyone looked at him in shock._

_"Well congrats you dumb bitches finally figured it out! And it only took you, nearly four years. Now isn't that an accomplishment. I'm sure you could add it to your resumes." Spencer stepped forward._

_"How could you? Why?" He snickered._

_"Why? Because of Allison. Because she broke my heart and left me out to dry. Like I meant NOTHING to her. All I wanted to do was talk. But that little bitch didn't let me. So I did what I had to do. I thought she was dead. But when I saw her in Ravenswood one day, I knew she was still alive. So I started following her. I figured that if I got close to you four, then you could lead me to her." Hanna and I untied Aria while Spencer kept talking to Ezra._

_"So why'd you bring us here tonight?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a knife._

_"Because I am so tired of you guys meddling and getting in my way. Alli keeps getting away because of you. I won't allow that to happen anymore."_

_"And how are you gonna do that? There's four of us and one of you. You're outnumbered." Before I knew it, he threw his knife and it stabbed Spencer right in the stomach._

_"Spence!" Hanna ran over to her and caught her before she fell. I stood in the back, making sure that Ezra didn't see my gun. I had to use it at the right time._

_"Don't worry. I've been practicing. My aim has gotten better." He went to reach into his pocket one more time. I couldn't let him hurt any more of my friends. I stepped to the side of everyone, aimed, and pulled the trigger. I hadn't use the gun but I already knew how to work it. The bullet hit him right in the chest and he immediately fell to the ground. Aria and Hanna got Spencer up and we were out the door._

_"I hope that you don't make it out of this. You made our high school years living hell. From what should've been the best years of our lives turned into complete shit. So thanks. For absolutely nothing." He looked at me and took his last breath. I basically saw the life being sucked out of him. I ran out the door and caught up with the others. We called the police and within minutes they arrived on scene. We explained what happened and they went upstairs to look at the crime scene. We weren't in any serious trouble, the jury took our side. I mean, with the amount of evidence we provided, who wouldn't take our side? After that, everything seemed to go back to normal. Allison was finally able to go back home and we didn't have to worry about A bothering us ever again._

* * *

"Whoa. Em. I didn't even know. That's crazy. I'm so sorry.." She just sat and continued driving. No sign of emotion peaking through the serious face that she wore.

"It's fine, really. It's just life after that was crazy. For me at least. I started seeing a therapist. I was having nightmares of seeing him, and the moment that he died. It was like he was haunting me. Then Paige broke up with me, and well I think that may have been partially part of the reason she left." I could see the tears falling from her eyes. "It was my most vulnerable time. And she left. And when she left I felt like my world was crumbling down on top of me. I placed her up on the highest pedestal only to get my heart broken."

"Babe, pull over." She started to hyperventilate a little. I rubbed her back, attempting to calm her down.

"I just.. I don't want it any more San. I don't want it in my possession." She must've read my face. "The gun babe. I don't want it."

"Well where is it? Wouldn't the police have taken it as evidence that night?" She nodded.

"They didn't. They let me keep it." That's when everything clicked.

"So that's what was in that black bag. If you don't want it, then why did you bring it with us?" She grabbed my hand and cried harder.

"Because if anything were to happen to you because of someone else and I would've had the chance to stop them? And you got hurt again? I wouldn't be able to live with it." She brought my hand up to her lips and gently brushed them along my fingers, kissing her way up my hand. "I would do anything to keep you safe, San. I don't want to see you getting hurt. Not again."

I interlocked my fingers with hers. She already stopped crying but her breathing hadn't slowed down yet.

"Babe I want you to listen to me okay. I want you to hear exactly what I'm saying. You don't have to worry about me. I know that's a lot of weight for you to bear. For you to worry about you, and me.

"But it's nothing too much for me to handle."

"That isn't the point though. You shouldn't have to worry about anyone but yourself." She looked at me and I guess she understood what I was trying to tell her. She nodded in agreement started to calm down. The rest of the drive was home nothing less than awkward and silent. The parking lot at the dorms was surprisingly empty so we parked close to the entrance.

"If you don't mind, I'm going to stay in the car for a while okay?" She grabbed her purse and left me in the car. I wanted to have a little time to myself, and I wanted to talk to someone. Someone being Brittany. I grabbed my phone and searched through my contacts. I used to know Britt's phone number by heart but I forced myself to forget it. I clicked on her name and pressed call. About four rings later, she answered.

"Hello?" She sounded like she had been drinking.

"Hey Britt, it's me."

"Oh hey San. Yeah that's you. What's up?" I bit my tongue. I didn't know if she was the person to be calling for relationship advice. But I didn't know who else to go to. Quinn's phone was dead and Britt was the only other person in the entire world who knew me better than I knew myself.

"I need some… Advice. I don't know if I should be going to you but you're the only other person I know that knows me. Like really knows me knows me." I heard a bottle being set down on a glass table.

"You can come to me for anything Santana. You should know that by now. Even if it's about your new girlfriend. What's going on with you guys? You seemed fine when you were at the hospital."

"Well yeah we were okay. But it was the ride home. Emily told me this story about something that happened to her and her friends in high school and it's something that affected her life greatly. She had a girlfriend at the time and right after the incident the girl left her." I looked out the window and saw that the sun was just setting.

"I don't understand what's the problem though? What does that have to do with you two? Did the other girl come back or something?"

"No Britt, her ex is dead. See that's why. She feels that she has to protect all the time. I mean all the time. But I don't want her to have to worry every second of the day that weighs heavily on someone's shoulders. And after what she has been through? I mean, I can't really tell you what it is but what I can tell you is that I can understand why she would be worried all the time but she shouldn't have to worry and I can't get her to understand that."

"Okay well from the way I see it, I think you should just let her do her thing. Obviously she has good and very obvious intentions to protecting you. Maybe there is something bigger out there that you don't know about or understand." Yeah, someone that is trying to kill me I thought to myself. If only Britt knew. "If protecting you is going to put her at peace then so be it. Let your girlfriend worry about you, Santana. You let me."

She was right. It was actually pretty hot when Britt would protect me. It didn't happen often because she knew that I could take care of myself. But it was nice nonetheless.

"Alright yeah, I guess I can let her 'do her thing'. I hope you're okay, Britt. I didn't mean to have you find out about Emily the way you did. I was trying to tell you."

"It's okay San. We both deserve to be happy. And if you're happy with Emily then I myself don't have anything to worry about. That's all I've ever wanted." I sighed. That is all Brittany ever wanted for me. And you know, deep down on the inside I did miss her. "Well I gotta go, it's getting late and I should be sleeping by now. I cant mess up my sleeping schedule before I fly back. I love you San, take care okay?"

Her saying I love you pulled on my heart strings. It always got me when she said it when we were together. I smiled and replied, " I love you too, Britt. I will. You too okay. Be safe on your flight back to Australia." And the phone call ended. I went into my photo gallery on my phone and found the pictures of Britt and I that I could never get myself to delete. Emily has seen them, and she understood. She does have pictures of Paige still too. I always wondered what life would've been like if Britt and I never broke up. I would still be in New York going to Wagner. I'd be closer to my friends. I wouldn't be constantly worrying about someone trying to kill me and my girlfriend. No. I couldn't think this way. It was wrong. I'm with Emily now. I got out of the car and headed to our room. When I got there, I found the door wide open and Emily no where to be found.


	12. Chapter 12

I didn't know what to do. Em never leaves the door open. Even if it's hot and we're both in the room, she makes me shut the door and lock it. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and tried to call her.

_Hey it's Emily. Sorry I missed your call, but leave your name and..._

I hung up. Her phone couldn't have been dead. We had it plugged in from the moment we left New York. I tried calling a couple more times with no success. I started pacing. And when I start to pace, I start to panic. I ran my hands through my hair trying to think of what to do next. Should I call Hanna? No. There was no sense calling her and making her worry when it could be someting little. But what if it wasn't someting little? What if A had just taken her? And here I am still wasting time. Pacing. I heard footsteps walking towards the door. I reached into my backpack and pulled out my pocket knife. It may not be big, but something is definitely better than nothing. My heart started beating faster, my breaths getting shorter. As the person turned the corner, I realized it was Em. I sat down and started to hyperventilate.

"Babe! What are you doing?" She ran to the sink and grabbed a paper bag and hurried her way over to me. "What's wrong?" In between breaths, I managed to get some words out.

"What do you mean?" I stuck my face back in the bag for a couple more breaths as I started to calm down. "I got to the room and the door was wide open. Why shouldn't I have been worried?" She looked at me.

"I'm sorry I swear I shut the door. I ran down to the pool because Allison Schmitt was down there and I just had to meet her. She's like my idol I don't think you understand." She flashed a smile at me. "Please forgive me? I didn't mean to make you worry. I really didn't."

I got up to sit on the couch. She sat next to me and nestled her head in my neck and kissed me.

"I'm not mad babe I promise. Just, with everything that has been going on? I find myself on edge more. You're not the only one that has someone to protect." I started playing with her hair.

She got up from the couch and held out her hand.

"Let's go in the room. It's getting late and we both have early classes tomorrow." I grabbed her hand and we walked into my room. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, babe. I'm fine." I got onto the bed. I turned towards the wall and Em cuddled behind me, putting her arm over me.

"I love you Santana." I kinda layed there. I don't want her to think that I was hesitating to say it back.

"I love you too Em. I'm sorry I'm just really tired." She squeezed me tighter. That was her way of saying that it was okay without using words. Within two minutes, we both fell asleep.

At about one in the morning, our doorbell started ringing. Emily started hitting me, telling me to get it. I got off of the bed, grabbed my knife off of the night stand and walked to the door. I looked in the peephole and saw that it was Britt. _What's she doing here?_ I opened the door slowly to make sure that Emily couldn't hear me.

"Britt what are you doing here." I stepped out and shut the door without fully closing it. "It's like one o'clock."

The stench of vodka and orange juice reeked from her. I knew she had been drinking. Screwdrivers were her favorite mixed drink. But she had the habit of drinking until she could feel it. And by then she would have had at least five glasses.

"I just needed to see you. I need you Santana." She moved towards me but I pushed her back. "No please, don't do that."

"I love you Britt. I do. But I'm with Emily now." Her arm reached out and grabbed me.

"Look. What you and I had, that was special. And it still is. You can't tell me that you don't have feelings for me anymore. I know you may love your girlfriend now but she isn't me. The special bond we shared can't ever be replicated and you know that." She put her hand on my face and gently rubbed it. I grabbed her hand and held it in mine.

"Don't do this to me, Britt. Don't do this." She leaned and kissed me. I couldn't resist. She always made me so weak. I grabbed her waist with my hands as our kiss got more and more passionate. Her tongue made it's way into my mouth and we started making out. She pushed me up against the wall and the kiss got more intense. I pushed her back, realizing what we were doing. "You need to go Britt. We'll talk tomorrow. When you're sober."

"I don't want to go, San. I want you back. I want... you." She took my hand and put it between her legs. She moaned a little as she used my hand to rub herself.

"Britt stop. Go back to where you are staying, and we'll talk tomorrow okay? Go. It's late." She stopped and looked at me. Those blue eyes. No matter how many times I look in them, I still get lost.

"Alright. I'll go." She kissed my cheek and started walking down the hallway. I watched her walk away until I couldn't see her anymore.

I leaned back on the wall and slid down to the ground. What the hell just happened? I spend months on top of months getting over her. I cried for countless amounts of nights and lost hours of sleep all because I couldn't get over the fact that I thought I had lost Brittany for good. I worked my ass off to get over her. And when I finally did. After all the tears, the sleepless nights. Finding a girl that actually loves me. Just like that, Britt comes back into my life and does this. With her I didn't have to worry about dieing. That sounds super fucking selfish, but it is what it is. You know? She always pulls me back in. I don't know what came over me, but I found myself running down the hall and to the parking lot. I saw her getting into a taxi. I got to her before she got in. I turned her around and leaned her up against the door and kissed her.

"I'll see you tomorrow okay. Around noon okay. We'll have lunch." She smiled. I kissed her one more time. "I love you."

"I love you too Santana." She got in the taxi and I watched it drive away. There was only one thing on my mind then. Emily.


	13. Chapter 13

The next morning, I woke up with a heavy heart. Emily was laying next to me sleeping peacefully. She had no idea about what happened last night. I got up off of the bed and went into the bathroom. Looking into the mirror, I tried to recognize the person in the reflection. This wasn't me. I wasn't a cheater. If there was one thing that I am, it's loyal. I turned the faucet on and started to wash my face. I watched as the water dripped off of my face and into the sink. What was I doing? Here I was, in a relationship with a really wonderful, amazing and strong person. Not to mention, beautiful. I felt as if my world had been torn in two all over again. Even though I'm not sure where this whole thing with Brittany is going to go, what I am sure of is if Britt wants something she doesn't stop until she gets it. Which leaves me in the midst of the very situation that I had never wanted to find myself in.

"San?" I snapped out of my deep thoughts and went to wipe my face on my towel. "Are you almost done? I need to pee." I opened the door and saw Emily bouncing up and down.

"You really have to go huh?" I smiled and started to tickle her.

"Babe stop!" She started to laugh and pushed me to the side and ran into the bathroom. I walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. Damn. I forgot we hadn't gone grocery shopping yet. I can probably pick up some food before I come home tonight. I know Emily must be hungry too.

I only had one class today, while Emily had 3. I told her bye in the morning and we went to our classes. What was not surprising to me is that I couldn't concentrate. All I could think about was Brittany. I was starting to get butterflies. It reminded me of the way I would get all anxious to see her when we first became friends. It was like everything was brand new again, even though I knew that it wasn't. I sat through the long and agonizing lecture from my English 101 professor. When I got out of class I texted Emily to let her know that I was going out to lunch with a couple of my friends. She was alright with it- granted she was fine with it all the time. I didn't want to be sneaking around but because I wasn't sure what was going on between Britt, I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. It was about 11:30 so I decided to call Britt to see where she wanted to go and have lunch. Her phone rang five or six times until she finally answered.

"Hello?" I could hear it in her voice.

"And there it is. The sound of a hangover." I started to laugh. "I'm guessing that you haven't even gotten out of bed yet."

"Shut up yes I have."

"Getting up to go to the bathroom to throw up doesn't count, Britt." I could hear her dry heaving. "Okay you know what, I'll pick up some soup and bring it over there. I always tell you about drinking until you feel it. You just never listen."

"I don't want to be lectured, please. I'll text you the address okay, I need to go." I shook my head.

"Yeah yeah go run to the bathroom bye Britt." And I hung up. I went to Olive Garden to pick up a large bowl of of soup. I entered the hotel address into my GPS and started to drive over there.

Britt was staying on the fifth floor so I took the elevator up and got to her door. I stood there for a good thirty seconds just thinking about what I was getting myself into. I knocked a couple times but nothing happened. I knocked again but louder, and she finally came to the door. You could tell that she had just rolled out of bed. Her hair hadn't been brushed yet and all she had on was a shirt and her underwear. She leaned on the door as she ran her hand through her hair and smiled.

"I must look pretty bad right now." I disagreed. She was just as hot as I remember. Perfectly toned thighs with muscular calves. I pushed her inside and put my bags down on the table. I grabbed her face with both hands and kissed her.

"You look terrible." We started to laugh.

She walked over to the table and took the bowls out and started to pour the soup in them. I sat down across from her and started to eat my soup.

"Ahh!" I looked up and saw Britt spitting the scalding hot soup back into her bowl.

"Really?" I started to laugh when I saw her get up from her chair and grab me. She carried me all the way to her bed and threw me down. I had forgotten how strong she was. Before I had the chance to get up, she jumped on top of me. She straddled me and held my arms down.

"What are you gonna do, San?" Her smile was glowing. She brought her face close to mine and I could feel her breath on me. She started to kiss my neck. A soft moan escaped from my mouth. Britt looked at me and we had that moment- that moment where you just know. You know that in that moment in time, you wanted that person so bad that you can't help it. You can't hold yourself back. But I did. And it took literally everything in me.

"Oh you got some strength there."

"Britt come on, we need to talk about this and you know it. I have a girlfriend." She got up from on top of me and laid next to me on the bed. She opened her arms and I was drawn in like a magnet.

"I bet you weren't thinking about her when you first came in the room and kissed me." She had a point there. The kiss just kinda happened. And for that split second, I had forgotten all about Emily. I had forgotten about reality. Cuddling with her was so nice.

"Yeah. I know that. But you already know how I get with that. You know that I will always have that love for you in my heart and it will never go away." She kissed me on my forehead. "I don't want you to take advantage of that like you did the last time. I'm scared of getting hurt like that. I don't deal with that type of pain well."

"You don't think I've thought about that, Santana? I've thought about what I've done to you in the past everyday. I think about how I've hurt you. The pain I have put you through. It kills me knowing that because of me, you were in the hospital. And I don't want that. I don't want you to feel pain like that ever again. After being out in that world alone, I realized that I needed you. That your love is what I lived for. I thought that I wanted someone more like me. That understood my dream; my passion. We argued on a daily basis about my late nights at the studio and early morning classes. I felt that, I needed someone that just adjusted to it. But I realized later when it was too late that you only said those things and argued with me because you wanted to spend time with me. I was being selfish and I'm sorry. I really am sorry Santana." She was running her hands through my hair and she knew that always relaxed me. "I love you, with all my heart. And I made a terrible mistake."

"Britt, you know I love you too." I looked up at her. "If you still felt this way then why didn't you come to me sooner?"

"I was ashamed. Cheating on you like that was the biggest mistake of my life."

"And I'm guessing you're here because you want me back?" She let me lay on my back and got up on her elbow next to me. She looked me in the eyes and that's when I saw her. The Brittany I loved. Her hand was gently touching my face. Her thumb was tracing my cheek bones.

"You are so beautiful, Santana. And to answer your question, yes. I want you back." Those were the four words I had been waiting to hear for months. But I was in a bind. I had Emily. "But I know you have a girlfriend. I want you to be mine again. I want you to come back to New York with me. So we can be together again. And closer to our friends. They miss you, you know."

"I know they do, sweets. Britt. I meant to say Britt." She smiled and kissed me.

"I haven't heard that name in such a long time. I've missed it."

"I've missed you. I've missed this. I've missed everything. I miss being in New York. And being with our friends. But I just can't to this. I can't be this cheater." She sat up and held out her hands. I grabbed them and sat up next to her.

"I will wait as long as it takes for you, Santana." She held out her pinky. I latched on and I felt like I was complete again.

"I know you will." I looked down at my watch. "It's getting late. I have to go, Emily is going to get out of class soon." Her expression wasn't too happy. "If you want, I'll come back tomorrow okay?" She nodded. I kissed her on the cheek and got off of the bed.

"I love you, Britt. I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

"I'll see you tomorrow." I grabbed my purse and headed towards the door.

"Hey San?" I turned around to look at her. "Be safe okay?"

"I will. I promise." But that was a promise that I wasn't sure that I could keep. I knew that I was walking a dangerous path by doing this behind Emily's back. She trusted me but I knew now that she had a reason not to. This also gave A another thing to hold over my head. Secrets are a dangerous thing to keep from someone you love. When I got down to my car, I found a envelope under my windshield wiper. I opened to find dozens of photos of me and Brittany from the night before. I turned the envelope over. And at that moment I knew I was fucked.

_Dont want Emily to find out about this? Meet me tonight on the football field or I'll have these delivered straight to her._

_-A_


	14. Chapter 14

What was I supposed to do? As scared as I was, I knew I was walking a thin line by doing what I did with Brittany. And I should've known better. And now A had something to hold over my head. I drove back to school campus with a lot on my mind. It was almost 4:30 and I had to meet Emily at the pool. I pulled into the parking lot and parked the car in the shade. I reclined my seat and put my hands on my head. What the fuck did I just get myself into? The last thing I wanted was for Emily to find out about what happened from someone else instead of me. The least I could do was tell her myself before A got the chance to. As I got deeper into my thoughts, I could feel myself start to relax and fall asleep. Knock knock knock. I looked up to see Emily smiling at me though the window. She had her hair down with a towel around her waist and my hoodie on. I rolled the window down and she leaned in to kiss me.

"Hey babe." I smiled. She walked to the passengers side of the car and got in. As always she smelled like chlorine and Black cologne from Rue 21. She knew it was a men's scent but it was the combination of th chlorine and the cologne that gave it a very gentle scent.

"How was practice?" I took the bag from her lap and placed in the back seat.

"Oh it was the same as always, fun." She really did love swimming, just like Britt loved to dance.

No. I had to stop thinking about her. It wasn't helping the situation at all. The less I thought about her the better.

"Where did you want to go for dinner?" She sat up in her sets and straightened out her back.

"This is gonna sound terrible, but it really feel like getting some Popeyes babe. I have been craving it like all day."

"That's fine babe we can go okay?" I drove downtown to the nearest Popeyes. We ordered some food and took it to go.

"Are you alright, San? You look like you have something on your mind." I didn't even look at her. I pretended to be super concentrated on the road becase of the traffic. But really? I was afraid of telling her the truth. She has been through so much already. I don't want to hurt her. I knew what I had to do. I was going to the football field tonight.

* * *

It was about a quarter to nine and Emily had fallen asleep on the couch while watching re-runs of the 2012 Summer Olympics. She constantly watched the swimming trials and it was perfectly fine with me. I kissed her forehead.

"I love you Emily." I grabbed my knife and put it in my jacket pocket. I debated about taking Emily's gun, she hid it in a bag in her suitcase in the back of her closet. I paused for a second to take a look at her. I wasn't just doing for me, I was doing this for her. On my way to the field I texted Brittany.

_I love you, Brittany S. Pierce._

I stopped right before the gate to enter the field. I didn't know what was about to happen or who I was going to find on that field but what I did know was that I was going to end this tonight.

I cautiously went out onto the field. The lights were on, and the seats were completely bare. As I walked into the middle of the field, the loud speaker came on.

"I must say, I am kind of surprised that you showed up tonight. Now you must be wondering why I asked you here tonight. How about you come up to here to the announcers booth. And make it quick." The screach from the speakers hurt my ears. I put my hands in my pockets and made my way up the stairs. As I reached the announcers booth I noticed the door was already open. The lights were off but I could see someone sitting in the darkness.

"What do you want." The person turned around and the lights turned on. "Logan?"

"Hello Santana. Surprised to see me?"

"Surprised is an understatement. How dare you?" I went for her but she pulled out a gun and pointed it at me. I put my hands up and started to back up.

"That's exactly what I thought. Now. You back up and sit your ass on that chair right there and I'll tell you what I want from you." She put the gun down on the table. "I want you to go back to your room and tell Emily that you're leaving. Then you get your things and you walk out that door and you never look back."

"Why are you even doing this to them?" She started to laugh.

"See what the girls don't know is that Ezra had a half sister." She picked up the gun and started to play with it in her hands. "Ezra was everything to me. He was the only sibling I had. Even though I hardly saw him he still called me every week to see how I was doing. Then I found out he was dead. Killed. By that stupid bitch you call your girlfriend and I was enraged. How dare they just get a slap on the wrist after shooting him in cold blood?"

"Do you even know what he did to them? He isn't some kind of fucking saint, Logan. He made their life hell for over three years."

"And what the fuck do you know about any of this?" She pointed the gun at me again. "Who are you to just come into all of this and make like you know these things? What makes you think that you understand what any of us have been through? I thought that by killing Emily's ex girlfriend she would be devastated. That she would slowly give up on life and feel the pain that I did. But when I saw that you were with her? Oh that changed everything. You got in my way. You ruined everything."

"You were the one who killed Paige? Are...Are you fucking kidding me? Of course that killed Emily. She loved her!"

"Oh you are defending her now are you? And here I thought that you were about to leave her for Brittany I mean from what went on the other night, I was pretty convinced that you were going to get back with her." I started to get hot. I balled my hand into a fist. "I'd be careful if I were you, honey. You don't want to overstep your boundaries. I could easily just shoot you and leave you to die while I head over to your girlfriends room and kill her. Like I told you. You should've left town when you could."

"Fuck off, Logan." I ran towards her and tackled her to the ground. I knew she had the gun in her hand but I didn't care. It was obvious that she wasn't going to stop. We rolled around on the floor a couple times when finally I got the gun out of her hand and it slid away.

Logan got up on top of me and started punching me. I swung back and she fell down to the ground. I wiped the blood coming from my nose with my sleeve. She got up and we both looked over at the gun. It felt like I was moving so slow yet I knew that I had never moved for something so fast in my entire life. We both got to it at the same time. I tried my hardest to get it away from her but I was just so tired. The adrenaline didn't seem to be working its way through my system at all.

"Just hand it over Santana and I won't make your death as painful as Emily's." I yanked hard but she didn't let go.

"That isn't going to happen." I rustled up whatever remaining energy I had. We were standing now, our bodies close together. _Bam!_ The gun went off. The feeling of warm liquid covered my hands. I didn't move. I didn't know if the blood was mine or hers.


	15. Chapter 15

My life flashed before my eyes. I fell backwards and just sat there. There was blood all over my hands and running down my arm. The warmness of the liquid made me uneasy and at that point I still hadn't figured out if it were my blood or hers. I looked up and away from me. My body started to shake and I could feel something running down my face. Tears. I went to wipe it with my hands only to smear the now cold blood onto my face. I started crying even more.

"Santana?" I heard someone behind me. "Santana? Babe? What's wrong?"

I heard the footsteps walking towards me and I realize that it was Emily. I could see her standing next to me but she wasn't looking at me.

"What happened?" She turned to me now and sat down next to me. I could feel looking me up and down. To see if I was hurt anywhere. "Babe it's okay. You gotta calm down. You're going to be alright."

I turned to look at her and realized that she was crying too. She grabbed onto my hands and held them tightly in hers.

"Why did you come here alone? Why didn't you tell me? Hanna, Spencer and Aria found me and told me that you had called them. They told me that you were coming here to meet A."

"I needed to end it. I wanted to save you from all the pain and suffering that would've came out of all of this again." I could feel her breathing heavily. She was crying harder.

"You could've died tonight. Do you not realize that?" She wiped her face with her sleeve. "I could've lost you tonight and A, well Logan, would've got what she wanted. To hurt me."

"I wasn't gonna get hurt, babe. And I didn't." Now I knew that I had to step up and stop crying and snap out of the trance that I was in. "I'm fine see? Only Logan got shot."

"But that isn't the point Santana. She had a gun. You were unarmed." I reached into my pocket and pulled out my knife. "So just because you had that small ass knife you thought that you could come here by yourself? I'm just, tired okay. I'm tired of losing people to death."

And I understood. Death took over her life.

"I'm sorry Emily. I am. I was just trying to protect you the way that you protect me." A smile broke through the tears. I was protecting her, from A. From her finding out about what had happened between me and Brittany.

"Come on you. Let's go find the girls and get you cleaned up. And call the cops." We got up and took one last look at Logan. "She had so much potential. Wasted because vengeance consumed her."

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and called the police. They showed up and I explained everything. There were cameras in the room so they had everything on tape as evidence. After everything was settled, Emily and I went back to our room. The girls met us there and we all walked inside.

"So she was Ezra's sister?" Aria was the most confused out of all of us. She had no clue. "That's weird. Because he never mentioned anything about a sister."

"Come on Aria, he didn't tell you a lot of things. There's no need in trying to understand him. And well, his family obviously." We all laughed.

"Are you guys hungry? I can make us something or we can order pizza." Everyone agreed on pizza. "Alright. It's on me tonight." Emily took her wallet out and walked away to order the pizza.

"We gotta give it to you, Santana. You are the right person to be with Emily. You're everything she needs." And I was. I had thought about it a lot all day. When the gun went off, the only person that came to mind was Emily. She was who I had to be with, the right person. The only person. She's the person that I was in love with.

"Thanks guys. Emily means the world to me. I would never hurt her like that."

Emily and I jumped in the shower really quick so that I could feel clean again. but no matter how many times I washed myself I didn't think I got all the blood off. Emily insured me that all of the blood was gone so we got out and got dressed. We all sat and talked for about another hour, and then the pizza delivery guy said that he was outside. He wasn't allowed to come in the building so we had to go outside and grab it for him. Hanna offered to go and get it so I wanted to go with her.

"Babe you don't have to go you know, Spencer or Aria can go outside with her."

"It's fine I want to go. I want to get some fresh air." I walked over to her and kissed her and then followed Hanna out the door.

"Everything alright Santana? You don't look too good."

"I don't know actually, I've just felt really uneasy. Like something's wrong." She laughed.

"You did almost did just now and that's a pretty traumatic experience. I'm sure that its pretty normal that you don't feel top shape."

"Its not that though. I texted my friend earlier and she hasn't texted me back." She immediately stopped walking and looked at me.

"Is her name, Brittany?" I stopped and turned around.

"How..Did you know that Hanna?" She pulled her phone out of her pocket and showed me a text.

_Tell Santana that Brittany wont be texting her back anytime soon._

"No. What does that mean, Hanna?!" Her eyes were filled with absolute shock. "I need to go. I need to get to her."

"What do you mean? Isn't she in New York? Santana. You gotta calm down."

"No she's in town. I need to go to her." I started running towards me car. She ran after me. We got into my car and we drove off of the parking lot. "Call them or something I don't want to just leave like this.

"Guys we have to go. Santana is freaking out because some thing happened to her friend Brittany. I'll let you know what's going on okay. Yeah. We'll be safe. I promise Emily. I will. Okay bye." She grabbed my hand. "Everything is going to be okay, Santana. Breath okay. Breath."

I continued driving down the road without saying a word. What did I do?

"Is Brittany, your ex girlfriend?" I looked over at her and nodded. "That's why. You still care for her don't you."

"I do. You still care about Caleb right?"

"Yes I do. I'm not trying to imply that you still want to be with her or anything. I was just asking. You understand that each of us has lost somebody close to us. it helps when you talk about them especially if you don't know about the situation. Well that's what worked with me. Santana, Brittany is going to be alright. Just stay positive. Don't think about anything negative until we know her situation."

I started to calm down. Brittany was going to be just fine. That's what I kept telling myself.

"You're right, Hanna. I just need to calm down."

"There you go. Is this it?" I pulled into the parking lot of the hotel.

"Yes this is the place." We got up to Britt's floor and walked down the hallway to her room. The door was cracked open. Before I could open the door, Hanna stopped me.

"Maybe I should go in first. Just in case." I agreed and let her walk by me and into the room. She immediately came back out and grabbed her phone. I could see her dialing 911.

"Hanna? Hanna what is it?" I could see tears in her eyes. This was obviously bad. I tried to go around her but she stopped me.

"Don't go in." She blocked me from getting near the door. "Yes. We need an ambulance to 55..."

Once she said ambulance I couldn't hear anymore. My head was spinning, my eh art started beating fast. I needed to get in there. The more I struggled the more she pushed me back farther.

"I need to get in there Hanna!"

"No Santana you can't go in there." I slipped from her grip and fell into the room. I got up and looked around.

"Britt!" I screamed when I saw her on the ground. There was a pool of blood near her body. I ran over to her and saw that she was going in and out of consciousness.

"San?" Her voice was weak and hoarse. "What are you doing here?"

"Britt no don't talk okay you need to save your breath. The ambulance is on their way okay. You're going to be alright." She held her hand out and I grabbed it. "You're going to be fine, okay. Just fine."

"I love you, Santana." Tears started falling. "Don't cry. You said I'm going to be fine. Right?"

"Yes. I know you'll be okay."

"Then there's no reason for you to be...crying right now so you just...stop..." Her arm went limp. I started to panic.

"No no no no Brittany no don't do this to me. Wake up damnit! Don't you fucking do this to me!" Hanna came over to me and grabbed me.

"Come on Santana. The paramedics are here. You gotta move to let them do their job. Come with me right over here okay." I stood up and stepped back. The paramedics moved swiftly.

Hanna held me tight. She was rubbing my back and telling me that it was going to be alright. I couldn't stop crying. The thought of losing Brittany was driving me insane.

"We have a pulse. Alright let's get her to the hospital. You guys can meet us there and we'll be able to give you an update on her condition there." Hanna thanked the paramedic and they ran out the door. She let me go and grabbed my face.

"I know how you feel. Exactly how you feel. You need to be strong for her. You need to be strong for yourself. Now let's go downstairs and we can get to the hospital. I already told the girls what happened and they're meeting us there." The tears kept coming. "Santana I know you love her. You need to be there when she wakes up okay. We have to go."

We went down to the car and she drove us to the hospital. On the way there, I sent mass text to the Glee club and told them what was going on. I got immediate replies from Quinn and Tina. They were already on their way.

"How are you doing, Santana?" I turned to Hanna who was looking straight at the road.

"Good as I'll ever be." She placed her hand on my thigh.

"I think you're doing just fine."

We pulled into the hospital and parked. When we got inside, the girls were waiting for us. Emily ran over to me and hugged me. I started to cry again.

"I'm so sorry babe. I'm sorry."

"Is the family of Brittany S. Pierce here?" I looked up and saw a doctor standing in the hallway.

"Yes that's me." And I walked over to him. "Santana Lopez."

"Ms. Lopez, we did everything you could. She lost a lot of blood and we couldn't find the source of the internal bleed. I'm sorry to have to give you this kind of news but, she didn't make it."

I fell to my knees and started to bawl. Emily grabbed me off of the floor. The three girls came over and all held me.

Brittany was gone, she was gone.


	16. Chapter 16

"Santana breath. You have to breath."

I could barely hear Emily over the sounds of my attempts to take in air. My phone started to vibrate and I looked down to see it was Quinn. Emily took my phone and answered it for me.

"Quinn and Rachel are outside. They said they'll be right in." She came over to where I was sitting and kissed my cheek. "The doctor told me that you can go and see Brittany if you'd like. I think you should go and see her."

"I will. I'm just trying to calm down first. Thank you, Emily. For being here with me. I know that you must think that I'm still in love with her."

"I know that you still love her because I still love Paige. And I always will. And to go through something like this is difficult. But I'm here for you okay?" She grabbed my hand and started rubbing it. I stood up and kissed her.

"I'll be back okay. Tell Quinn and Rachel that I went inside to see her when they get here. You can go downstairs to the cafeteria if you want to. I know that you must be hungry. And the girls are waiting for you. So go." She gave me the are you sure face. "I'm sure, Em. Please go and eat. I need to do this alone."

She walked me over to the door of Brittany's room and let me know one more time that I was going to be alright. I kissed her once more and walked into the room. I looked back and saw that she was still standing in the doorway. She worded I love you and walked away. I turned the corner and saw Brittany laying there. I had told myself that I wasn't going to cry but here I was, bawling once again.

"I told you not to leave me, Britt. Why did you have to fucking do this to me? Why did You have to leave me here!" I sat down on the chair next to her bed and held her hand. It was cold. That nice familiar warmth that I was used to feeling was gone. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. This is all my fault Britt."

I wiped my face with my shirt and looked back over at her. The longer I looked at her the more I hoped that she would just wake up and be alive again. But I knew that wasn't going to happen. I heard some whispering and saw that Rachel and Quinn were standing at the door. Quinn told Rachel something and she nodded, kissed her and walked away.

"Hey San." She walked over to me and handed me one of the coffees that she was holding. "We ran into Emily and her friends in the cafeteria. She said you might want one of these."

She pulled a chair up next to me and rubbed my back.

"I didn't tell her Quinn. I didn't get to tell her. I didn't..." The tears started falling faster.

"You didn't get to tell her what, San?"

"I didn't get to tell her that I love her. She was laying there in my arms. And she was dying. She told me that she loved me. And I didn't tell her back."

"Do you really think that she didn't know that you loved her?" She looked over at Britt and placed her hand on her thigh. "Brittany knew that you loved her. She knew that she was the first ever person to get you, Santana Lopez, to open up. To not hide who you really are. So don't you think for a second that she doesn't know that you love her. Even if you guys weren't together, she knew. And she'll always know."

"But still! You don't understand. I put her in this situation. I did this to her."

"You didn't do anything. You didn't pull the trigger. You did everything you could. At least you talked to her before she died. Britt and I had an argument last week and that was the last that I talked to her. It ended on a bad note and now look. I can't tell her I'm sorry." She shook her head and took a sip of her coffee. "I know that she was in town to talk to you about getting back together."

"Yeah we talked. Sort of." I shrugged my shoulder.

"Do not tell me that you two had sex." I pushed her.

"It was nothing like that, Quinn. She came over the other night and we made out. She was drunk though. That was actually last night. Then today, I went over to her hotel and we talked. Kissed, and talked. But nothing more I promise. I made it clear that I wasn't going to cheat on Emily and she told me that she would wait." I looked over at Brittany and sighed. "She would've waited till the end of time."

"I know she would've. I don't believe we lost her. This is ridiculous. We were all supposed to be together until the very end."

"She'll always be with us. Without a doubt."

"Are we interrupting?" We both looked towards the door and saw that nearly the entire Glee club was standing outside. "We just wanted to come and say goodbye."

"You guys aren't interrupting. Come in."

Everyone slowly walked in and surrounded the bed. I could hear the sniffles from everyone.

Finn walked over to me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"We're so sorry, Santana. We know how hard this must be for you. How are you holding up?"

"You know, as good as I can get in this situation. I just want the tears to stop and the pain to go away." He squeezed and started to massage my shoulders.

"Just know that we're all here for you if you need anything alright. Anything." Another knock at the door.

"Hey. I'm sorry folks, but we have to take Mrs. Pierce soon." No I wasn't ready yet. "We'll give you a few more minutes."

"Guys why don't we go back outside and wait. We love you, Brittany. And we'll miss you so much." Quinn got up from her seat next to me. "I'll be right outside when you're done okay?"

"Okay. I'll see you guys in a little bit." One by one everyone told Britt bye and they left. Quinn was the last out and she shut the door. I started breathing hard again and I knew that the tears were definitely about to start.

"I guess this is it huh? This is the last time I'll be able to touch you, to hold your hand, to kiss you." I stood up and kissed her on her forehead. I kissed her lips one last time. "This isn't right. This isn't the way that I should be saying goodbye to you. And you shouldn't be dead and you shouldn't have come to town. You wouldn't be laying here in this bed. I love you so much, Brittany Susan Pierce. My first true love. And I'll always love you. You'll always be in my heart. You're in a much better place now dancing with the angels. Goodbye, beautiful."

I kissed her one last time and walked outside. I shut the door and broke down. I felt someone grab me and help me stay on my feet.

"Come on San you're alright. Let's go this way." Quinn held me up and walked me to her car. She opened up the door and helped me get in. "Emily already knows that you're coming with me. She said that she'll meet up with us later. Rachel was already sitting in the passengers seat. I was sort of in a daze and just going with the flow. I felt numb.

"Where are we going?"

"Just back to your place. You need to rest." She shut her door and started the car. "Emily will be home a little after we get there, she drove her friends to one of the motel's near the bus station. Spencer's car broke down or something so they're leaving here until Toby can come and fix it for her in the morning. It's late. They didn't want to crowd the room. They said that it would be better if they gave you and Emily some time alone."

As we left the parking structure, I looked up into the night sky. A shooting star flew across the night sky and in my heart I knew that was Brittany.

We reached my room and Quinn and Rachel walked me inside. Emily wasn't back yet but I reassured them that I'd be okay. They both hugged me and said that they'd be back in the morning to see how I was doing. I shut the door and locked it after they left. My phone vibrated in my pocket.

_Hey babe I'll be back in a bit. I just dropped the girls off at the motel. I'm just making sure that they'll be okay. I love you. See you soon._

I felt so empty. Out of everything that could've happened to me today, the last thing I would've thought of was losing Brittany. I had already lost her once and I knew that I never wanted to feel that way again. There was only one thing that could take my pain away. I opened the freezer to find four bottles of vodka. I unscrewed the cap and started to chug the bottle. The sting of the alcohol hurt my throat but I knew that it were only temporary. The vodka wouldn't fill the hole i had in my heart, but it could definitely numb the pain. Before I sat back down on the couch, I pulled my phone out. I glanced at the bottle and realized that I had already drank half of it. I finished what was left and grabbed the second bottle. I walked over to the couch and placed the bottle on the coffee table so that I could text Emily back.

_I'll be here when you get back, babe. Take your time alright. I love you too._


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: Forgive me, I'm attempting to write a sex scene.**

**I want brutal honesty about it, I think it's pretty corny and cliche.**

**Honesty is the best policy, I always say :) Lol.**

**Reviews, Favorite, Follow :)**

After the third bottle, I couldn't figure out what time it was or how long I had been home alone. At that point, I had no idea what I was doing. I had told Britt that I would never drink again and here I was, three bottles deep and not giving two fucks. And at that point, I didn't think I'd ever come bacj from losing Brittany this way.

It seemed like hours went by and I started to get worried. So I picked up my phone and attempted to call Emily. I pressed call on what seemed to be her name.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Waiiiiiit. This isn't Emily." My words were slurred and I felt as if I were using all my energy to get the sentences out of my mouth. "Where's Emily?"

"Santana you didn't call Emily. It's me, Hanna."

"Haha! Oh. I'm so sorry. I really did mean to call Emily so I'm sorry." I moved my phone from my right ear to the left and in the process I hit myself in the eye and started to laugh. It wasn't even that funny yet I was laughing as if I had just been told the funniest joke. I put the phone back up to my ear and tried to stop laughing.

"Santana? Hey. Where are you? Are you at home?" I nodded not realizing that she couldn't see me. "Hello?"

"Yes. Yes I'm at home. How come?"

"I was just making sure. You sound drunk, and I didn't want you to drive home or anything."

"Oh yeah no don't worry, I'm gonna be just fine. Just fine. I'm gonna go call Emily now. See ya later." I heard them all talking.

"Okay yeah you go call Emily. She should be home shortly. Be safe Santana." And she hung up.

As I scrolled through my contacts I lifted the bottle to my mouth only to find that this bottle too, was empty. I threw my phone onto the couch and watched it bounce off the cushion and onto the floor. _Damn_ , I thought. _I was trying not to do that._ I stumbled over to the freezer and grabbed the last bottle. It may have been the last bottle, but it was also the biggest. I heard the door knob jingling and I turned to see who it was. Being that I was already borderline shit-faced, I had turned too fast and ended up falling on my ass. The door opened and I saw Emily come in.

"Yeah I found her. She's fine, just drunk ass fuck. No it's alright Hanna, I'll be able to take care of her. Yeah I'll call you if anything. Goodnight." She walked over to me and took the bottle from my hand. She placed it on the counter and turned around to look at me. "You worked fast babe. Three bottles huh? It only took me a half an hour to get here from the hotel."

She held her hand out and helped me off of the floor.

"I know it looks bad and from what I can tell, you look pretty good right now and I would love to have some really hot sex with you." She helped me onto the bed and took my shirt off.

"We aren't having sex tonight. I need to figure out how you are when you're drunk first." She was being very understanding. "You didn't take any pills did you?"

"No, of course not I wouldn't do that."

"Okay. I expect that you are telling me the truth, Santana." She helped me take my shorts off and then laid me down on the bed. "I know you're gonna get really hot tonight."

"It already is hot." I turned on my right side to see thag Emily was undressing. First her shirt, and then her bra. Her back muscles were so toned. The light shining through the window was hitting her in all the right spots. She put her shirt back on and then slipped out of her shorts. I don't know if it were the alcohol, but what I did know was that I wanted her so bad. The more I thought about it, the more my thong started to moisten.

She laid down next to me and got comfortable. She looked over at me and smiled.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I took my hand and slid it under her shirt. Before I could reach my destination, she stopped me. "I already told you no, babe."

But that wasn't gonna stop me. I got up on top of her and held her arms down. I knew what she couldn't resist. I brought my face down to her neck and started to kiss it slowly.

I slowly let go of her arms and I felt them climb up my back. I bit down on her skin and I felt her hips raise. I made my way down to her nipple and traced her areola with my tounge. _Oh babe..._ Was all that left her mouth.

I grabbed onto her thighs and followed up to her hips. She brought my face up to hers and started to kiss me. I felt her hand take mine and place it in her underwear. I smiled.

"What happened to no sex tonight?"

"Just shut up and fuck me." Your wish is my command.

She was super wet- much more than I ever felt before. I rubbed her up and down. Spreading her wetness all over. I'd pretend to go in, but stop before I got too deep.

"Quit teasing babe!" Emily would try to get my hand to go in, but I wasn't ready to do that just yet. She started kissing me again, but this time it was much more intense. Her tounge wrestled with mine and she was definitely winning. As I lifted myself up, she followed. I pushed her back down with my left hand and at the same time, went inside of her with my right. My fingers had no difficulty going in.

_In._

_Out._

_In._

_Out._

I gradually sped up my pace.

Her hips bucked under mine. She was trying to close her legs but I wouldn't let her.

Her moaning only pushed me to keep going. As tired as my arm was, I didn't want to stop yet. By the way she was screaming, I knew she was almost done.

Her hands came down and stopped me. "Okay okay babe. I'm good."

I rolled off of her and laid on my back. I was dripping in sweat. She was breathing hard and so was I.

I looked up at the ceiling. The pain was coming back. For that moment in time, I had forgotten about everything that happened. I climbed over Emily and headed to the kitchen. I was stumbling a little, the alcohol hadn't left my system. I fell up against the wall and slid down to the ground and started crying. I got back up and grabbed the bottle and started to drink. Emily came out of the room and held me from behind.

"You know the alcohol won't numb all of the pain."

"I know it won't but it's definitely helping. I don't know how to deal with this. How did you make it through this?" She turned me around to face her. She had out a long sleeve shirt on and a pair of shorts. She bunched up the end of her sleeve in her hand and wiped my face.

"I had you. You helped me much more than you know, Santana. You helped me stay strong even when I thought I couldn't. That's why I'll be here for you. The pain will subside eventually."

"But you didn't even cry. Well, barely." She flashed a small smile at me.

"I did. In the bathroom, in the shower. I thought that the less I cried in front of you, the stronger I'd be. Then you'd be stronger and keep your smile on because I'd be trying to. I don't know if that makes sense but it does to me."

"I guess it sort of does. I want to be strong. I want to be strong like you."

"And you'll get there. Everything just happened in the past twelve hours. No one is asking you to be strong right here, right now. You just lost someone that meant the world to you. And probably still does. Time heals everything." Emily took the bottle from me and took a sip. She handed the bottle back to me. "Take one more drink and we're going to bed okay?"

I took one more drink from the bottle then put it away. Emily held out her hand and I grabbed on. She helped me into the room and laid me down once more. I started to get comfortable ans coughed a little.

"Are you gonna throw up or anything?" She went to hop off of the bed but I stopped her.

"Babe I'm fine okay. Just come here and lay with me."

I put my arm out and she laid on me and had her arm on my chest.

"I love you, Santana. I don't want you to forget that okay? No matter how much pain you're in, I want you to always remember that."

I turned and kissed her.

"I love you too, Emily. Thank you for being here for me."

She reached up and ran her hand through my hair. She knew that helped me relax.

"Just relax okay? Everything's gonna be alright."

As I started to fall asleep, I felt her lips on my cheek. She kissed me twice, so lightly that I could barely feel it.

And with that, Emily had given me the one thing I didn't think I'd get for a while.

Hope. Hope that I was going to be okay.


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: And that last chapter was kinda ehh for me. Lol.**

Now as strong as I may portray myself to be, I am actually a big baby when it comes to really emotional things. And this was one of those times. It has been about a month since Brittany has died and it still feels like it just happened yesterday. Her funeral was in a couple days and I didn't know if I was ready for it. I have been in the apartment by myself for the past week because Emily's dad just came home from deployment and he wanted her to spend time with him before he was sent back. I was trying to be alright on my own, but it hasn't been easy. The first couple nights I cried myself to sleep and by the time I was exhausted enough to actually sleep my alarm would go off. Emily texted me all day and would call me before she went to sleep at night. It was hard with out her. I didn't think I depended so much on her until now.

It was like 2 am and I was wide awake laying in bed. I grabbed my phone off of the dresser and called Emily. It rang and rang and then went to voicemail. I expected it, I didn't think she was going to answer the phone.

"Hey babe. It's me. I can't sleep and I just figured I'd call and maybe you'd answer but it's okay. I know it's late. Just call me in the morning okay? I love you."

After I ended the call, I scrolled down my contacts list and went to the one person who I knew would answer my call.

"San do you know what time it is?"

"I'm sorry Quinn, I can't sleep. I haven't been able to for the past week since Emily went home to see her dad." I rolled over to face the wall.

"Why didn't you tell me? You know that I could've came out there and stayed with you. All you had to do was call." I heard someone in the background. "Sorry babe go back to sleep. It's San."

"Oh damn I'm sorry. Maybe I should've just texted you instead. I know it's probably late."

"It's fine, Santana. Cut it out. Rachel's just a light sleeper. If you want, I can drive out there so we can go back to Lima together. Emily is coming, right?"

"Yeah of course she is. She's going to meet me there. That's the same day that her dad is leaving to go back to Afghanistan. So she's going with him to the airport and catching a flight to Lima." I plugged my headphones into my phone so that I could scroll through Instagram. "Would you really come out here?"

As I said that, I heard a car starting. "I'm already on my way. Be there in a couple hours, San." And she hung up.

I went to my pictures and found a video that I didn't remember recording. It was Emily. I sat up in my bed and pressed play.

_Hey baby. I know I'm not there with you right now and I feel really bad and I'm sorry. But my dad doesn't come home all the time and I needed to see him. I just want you to know that I love you very much and I'll be with you soon okay? Don't cry alright, I can already see the tears. I'll be home soon. I love you._

And of course she was right, I was crying. I pulled my earphones out of my ears. Every night since she left, all I did was cry. I felt like I was crying for hours that night. I got up from my bed and walked outside into the kitchen. The freezer was just restocked with alcohol, without Emily knowing of course. She would never let me buy alcohol. I grabbed the bottle of vodka out and sat on the couch and turned the tv on. I stayed up all night thinking about Brittany. Her smile. Her laugh. The way she would run up to me when she got out of class. Here I was, sitting in my living room in the middle of the night drinking vodka and watching an informercial on QVC. I threw my head back and got really dizzy. So dizzy that I didn't want to move. I closed my eyes and ended up falling asleep.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to the sound of my doorbell ringing and my neck was stiff as fuck. I pulled my head up off of the back of the couch and got up.

"I'm coming." The doorbell kept ringing. "Damn Quinn, calm down I'm up I'm up."

I opened up the door and saw Rachel and Quinn standing there. "I told you I was coming to the door, you didn't have to keep pressing the doorbell."

"She's had like four energy drinks, Santana. Give her like ten minutes and I can guarantee that she'll crash. Can I take her to your room?"

I nodded and showed her where Quinn could lay down. And just as she said, Quinn layed down and fell right to sleep. Rachel and I walked back outside.

"Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat. I was about to make some scrambled eggs and bacon."

"Yeah, actually. I'd love some." She sat down at the table and put the cap on the vodka bottle. "You're lucky that Quinn was in the grey zone of crashing after a energy drink. If she saw this out you know that she would've killed you."

I grabbed the eggs out and placed them on the counter. "I know she would've. It's not like I got drunk or anything."

"She cares about you Santana, she only wants what's best for you. And I know that we haven't been the greatest of friends but I care about you too. I don't know if that means anything to you but I do mean it. From the bottom of my heart. To go through something like that must've been traumatic."

"Thank you, Rachel. It means a lot to me. Honest." I took the vodka bottle and put it back into the freezer. "Do you like anything on your eggs? Salsa? Cheese?"

"Just the pain scrambled eggs. It's fine with me." I put her food on her plate and placed it on the table. "Can I ask you something, Santana?"

I placed my plate on the table and sat down in front of her. "Of course."

"Do you think Quinn really loves me?"

"Honestly? Yes. I do think that. She would talk about you all the time. She hadn't told me that it was you, because she knew the jokes would never stop. But I like the two of you together. It works. I didn't like you in the beginning, Berry. But you grew on me. Let me just say it right now. If you hurt her, I'll kill you. Quinn is my person. She's my rock and I I'll do anything for her."

"I know. I promise I won't hurt her. I'll never do anything like that to her. I love her. More than I ever loved anyone else."

At that moment, I heard my phone ring. I got up from the table and went into the room to grab it. When I got in there, I saw Quinn was awake handing me my phone.

"She won't hurt me San. Don't give her the third degree." I smiled and answered my phone.

"Hey there babe."

"Hi baby. I'm sorry I didn't answer last night. You needed me and I wasn't there for you." I sat down at the table and continued eating.

"Don't worry. I'm aright. Quinn and Rachel came over last night."

"Hi Emily!" Emily started to laugh.

"Tell Rachel I said hello." I heard her tell her dad something. "I gotta go babe. I'm sorry. My dad is taking me and my mom to breakfast at my favorite restaurant. I just wanted to call and make sure that you're alright."

"I'm doing good babe. Have a good time with your dad okay?" She made the kissing sound. "I love you too babe. Bye."

"So everyone voted and decided that you should sing at Brittany's funeral. That is if you're okay with it." I hadn't really thought about her funeral. I would start thinking about it but before I could even imagine what I'd wear, I'd burst into tears.

"Sing?" She nodded.

"Yeah. Britt's parents wanted the Glee Club to perform something but we all thought that it should be you doing a solo. She meant the most to you, Santana. Everyone knows that. You went to the end of the world and back for that girl. It wouldn't be right if you didn't do it. But of course we aren't trying to guilt you into doing it or make you do it if you aren't comfortable or ready for anything like this. I mean if it were Quinn you know I'd do it but I'd probably cry and.."

"Okay okay yes Rachel I got it. I'll think about it alright. Geez. You sure can talk a lot huh. I don't know how Quinn can handle you."

"I can handle her just fine thank you very much." Quinn walked over to us and kissed Rachel.

"You aren't tired sweetie? You can still sleep if you want to."

She shook her head. "No I'm fine. A quick nap was all I needed. I'll be alright."

"There's some extra eggs and bacon if you want some. The plates are in the cabinet above the microwave."

"Thanks San." She made her plate of food and sat down at the table. "You know, I never thought that we'd be here."

Rachel looked confused. "At Penn State?"

"No no. I mean, like losing a friend like this. Brittany was our friend. One third of the Unholy Trinity. She was like your soulmate, San. And then she leaves us. I just never thought that it'd be so soon. I thought that we'd all grow old together and reminisce on how stupid we all were back in high school." She grabbed my hand. "I know Emily makes you happy. But in all honesty, I always knew that you and Britt were meant for each other."

"Then why did you tell me all those things back when me and Britt first broke up?"

"Because that stuff was what you needed to hear. I knew that you wouldn't truly know if you loved each other unless you guys broke up and _you_ moved on. Not just as a temporary thing where it wasn't an official break up. It had to be official so that you two could grow more. Then you met Emily and everything changed. I didn't want her to come here and screw everything up for you."

"I never told her what I really wanted to tell her."

"I'm sure she knows, Santana." And Rachel was right. Of course she knew. But I wanted to actually say it. I never got the chance to.

And at that exact moment, I knew what song I was going to sing for Britt at her funeral.


End file.
